Through the Past Dorkily: The Party

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Saturday, January 14, 1984

What a day! After dumping the garbage, we went to see "Terms of Endearment" in Portsmouth. We ordered two large buckets which looked like a [redacted] deal. Needless to say, we didn't finish either bucket. The movie was alright. Not great, but okay. On a scale of 10, I'd give it a 7. Then when we left, it was snowing like crazy. We got stuck behind some old guy going 10 miles an hour. We stopped off at Osco and got home by around 5:15.

I then got ready for [redacted's] party. When 7 o'clock rolled around, Jeremy's mom drove in the driveway. Then their car broke down and Mom had to take us there. We made it there in time, though. Guests: [bunch of redacteds].

The first few hours were pretty slow because everybody just sat around. Me and Jeremy went up to [redacted's] room and I found a pair of blue space-cadet glasses that belonged to [redacted]. I put 'em on and proceeded to eat a candle and chug down a 2-liter bottle of Coke. Then we got the idea to throw [redacted--the birthday girl] in the snow. Me, Jeremy and her boyfriend carried out the plan. Then we got [redacted female] and [redacted male]. After this, mass snowfights followed. I got soaked. Jeremy's mom got there at 11:10. Too bad. Just when the fun started!

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Our town didn't have garbage pickup; instead every Saturday, we went to a big dump on the outskirts of town (fortunately for us, the outskirts in the other direction) to throw our trash into a big trash heap. Not fun duty in the summer. They ended up turning into a landfill a few years after my parents moved away. No doubt it's pretty toxic on and around that site.

I don't remember if there were any parents at that party, but there was definitely no booze. I didn't drink then and neither did my buddy, but I know the birthday girl was fairly straight-laced. I certainly went to other parties where there was plenty of alcohol, but I just wasn't into it at that time. Apparently I was into making an idiot of myself, but I guess it was all in good fun. Christ, I might as well have put a lampshade on my damn head. Oy.