Through the Past Dorkily: Up the Creek

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Friday, April 20, 1984

Song of the day: Could This Be Magic? - Van Halen

Top 5 at Five
1. Distant Early Warning - Rush
2. Don't Leave Me This Way - The Ravyns
3. Leave It - Yes
4. Top of the Rock - HSAS
5. Up the Creek - Cheap Trick

Wow, man1 What a day. I got up and Mom started bitching at me about goofing off at school. It ended up with minimal homework so that's good.

I rented my tux after school today. It's cool-looking. It's got a white jacket with black pants. Good deal.

Boy, is [girlfriend] awesome or what? I talked to her 3 times on the phone, the last time for an hour! Dad got pissed at me, but I don't care. She's great. I can't wait till tomorrow night! It's gonna be cool!

This relationship is great!!!!! [Girlfriend] is incredible!

- The (anxious) Barbarian

Saturday, April 21, 1984

Song of the day: Wild Horses (again) - The Stones

WOW!!!!!

Forget everything up till 6 p.m. I got to [girlfriend's] house then. Actually, I knocked on the wrong door, but luckily she saw me and got me. I met her parents and we went to her room before dinner. We played 2 games of Boggle. Then we started talking. We were sitting and started playing footsies with each other! It was great!! Dinner was good. Me and [girlfriend] ate alone. We went back to her room, sat on her bed, and started looking at old yearbooks. We started sitting wicked close, and I finally got up the guts to kiss her on the cheek. She liked it! She put "Wild Horses" on, and we slow danced. I sang it to her and we squeezed tight and kissed more!!! She is awesome!!! We kept kissing a wicked lot!! That girl is incredible!!!!!

I had to leave at 10. While waiting for Mom outside, me and [girlfriend] were conserving body heat! I'm gonna miss her. I won't see her till Tuesday. Bummer.

I'm crazy about her and she's crazy about me! I can't wait till Tuesday!! She's awesome!!!

- The (stimulated) Barbarian

Tuesday, April 24, 1984

Song of the day: Just Between You and Me - April Wine

Top 5 at Five
1. Distant Early Warning - Rush
2. Up the Creek - Cheap Trick
3. So You Ran - Orion the Hunter
4. It's My Life - Talk Talk
5. Heaven - Bryan Adams

Wow, man. I went with [girlfriend's] mom to Marblehead (near Salem, Mass.) to pick her up from her grandmother's house. We talked all the way there. [Girlfriend] looked great when we got there. Her grandmother was cool. She was real friendly. She drove us around Marblehead and we went to a shopping center. We were looking around at Caldor where I finally saw "Grace Under Pressure." I didn't buy it, though. We had lunch at Kentucky Fried Chicken and had some ice cream, too.

We got back to Kingston around 3 p.m. and they dropped me off at home. That bummed me out because I wanted to go to her place. I got over it, though.

I got Mom to call that insurance guy so I can drive to [girlfriend's] house tomorrow. He wasn't there so Mom will call him in the morning.

I drove Mom, in the rain, to Market Basket tonight. I did pretty good, too.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, April 25, 1984

Song of the day: (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction - The Stones

Top 5 at Five
1. Between the Wheels - Rush
2. Up the Creek - Cheap Trick
3. Big City Nights - Scorpions
4. The Ghost In You - Psychedelic Furs
5. Run Runaway - Slade

What a lousy day. You know that watering of the eyes I've been having? It turns out I've got conjunctivitis, aka Pink eye. It's very contagious so I couldn't see [girlfriend] today and I can't see her tomorrow either! Drat!! I can't touch my eyes and I have to use eye drops.

Mom called the insurance guy this morning and I can drive on my own now. It figures that on the first day I can go myself to [girlfriend's] house, I catch this stupid disease! Damn!

The doctor says it should go away by the end of the week. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to see her on Friday. I sure hope so. I miss her so much. She is so awesome! Oh [girlfriend].

- The (lonely and sick) Barbarian

Thursday, April 26, 1984

Song of the day: No One Like You - Scorpions

Top 5 at Five
1. Between the Wheels - Rush
2. The Pros and Cons of Hitch-hiking
3. Up the Creek - Cheap Trick
4. Magic - The Cars
5. A Whiter Shade of Pale - HSAS        

Limbo day. Forced to stay indoors because of my eyes, I sat around trying to do my homework. I only got 2 definitions done. Most of the writing I did was putting [girlfriend's] initials all over my books!

The guy put in the new steps. Those things are massive! It looks way better now!

What a day! It was wicked nice today: Sunny, in the 60s. And I had to stay at home all day. Crap!

I talked to [girlfriend] later and she said that [classmate] and her boyfriend would like to get together with us tomorrow. I said fine but there's a big problem. Now Mom can give me a ride to her house, but how the heck do I get home? Mom works evenings tomorrow. Both mine and JP's bikes are busted because of those stupid movers. [Girlfriend] said she'd call me in the morning and we'll try to work something out. She's great. I have to see her tomorrow. It's been 2 days and I'm going crazy!

- The (anxious) Barbarian

Friday, April 27, 1984

Song of the day: When the World is Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Around - The Police

Freedom! I'm better! Well, Mom took me to Exeter and we got JP's bike fixed (mine will be at the shop for a week). I took JP's bike to [girlfriend's] house! Actually, Mom dropped me off there with the bike. Boy, was it great to see her again! I really missed that babe! I went there at 2:30. [Classmate] was there, too, and her boyfriend was supposed to come but he couldn't make it. We were supposed to play tennis but we didn't. I left my racket at her house. We (me and girlfriend) sat on the couch and kissed a lot! She's awesome! I was there until 5:15. She rode with me until 125. It only took me half an hour to ride home! Not bad. I can ride there all the time now! Good deal!

I hope to see her tomorrow, too!

Mom got me an appointment for a haircut tomorrow at 9:30. Geez!

- The Barbarian

Saturday, April 28, 1984

Song of the day: I Got You - Split Enz

What a beautiful day (weather-wise)!  At 9:30, I got my hair cut. Sandy styled it different, though. She feathered it back, and it looks wicked cool!

At 12 noon, I had to paint the deck. We only have one brush, so I had to do it all myself. It took me 2 hours to do it. It looks pretty lousy, but hey, I never said I could paint!

I couldn't see [girlfriend] because she was busy all day, but we should be able to get together tomorrow.

Tonight, we move our clocks up 1 hour. We're not going to church tomorrow because we'd be too tired.

I think [girlfriend] will like my hair. She said if I liked it, then she would. What a babe! I might even go with her to see her dress tomorrow, I'm not sure. But we'll see.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, April 29, 1984

Song of the day: Tops - The Stones

Today was even better than yesterday, but it was wicked hot!

I got up at 10:45 (actually 9:45) this morning, and Mom made me take the garbage to the dump. By myself. And I did it! No problem!!

When I got home, I ate some cereal and called [girlfriend]. She said I could come over. As I was getting ready, that vicious dog next door came over and started biting Sammy, who was tied up out front. We called the neighbors and they took the little bastard! Sammy was alright.

When I got to [girlfriend's], we went to play tennis. But there was no net at the court, so we played a little and went back. I had lunch there (2 hot dogs) and then we played zim-zam awhile. We went into the house and talked. She said she was pissed at her ex about stuff he said to her and I told her I was there to listen if she ever needed to talk to someone. We went to her room and looked at a Stones book for a little while and then we started kissing. I started kissing her on the lips more. Wow! I had to leave at 4, but I had a great time. She's terrific.

- The Barbarian (of love)

Monday, April 30, 1984

Song of the day: Can't You Hear Me Knocking? - The Stones

Top 5 at Five
1. Legs - ZZ Top
2. Deeper and Deeper - The Fixx
3. Up the Creek - Cheap Trick
4. The Ghost in You - Psychedelic Furs
5. Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions

Weird day, man. When [girlfriend] got to school today, she said she was thinking a lot last night and she didn't want a heavy relationship. She said that we could see each other but just not use the term "going together." I said, "Huh?" I was kinda messed up after that, but I talked to her at lunch, and she said that didn't really change anything between us! Phew! I said we could go a little slower if she wanted and she said yes. So really nothing's different between us. We weren't going that fast anyways. We'll just take it one day at a time and everything will be fine. I hope!

I got a 91 on that Bi Sci test I took before vacation.

I called her later and she said she was alright. She was pissed at herself for falling for her ex. I told her it happens to all of us (and it does!) and that she should forget the past. She's in a good mood now. She was depressed before. The poor babe's been through a lot. We'll be alright.

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, May 1, 1984

Song of the day: I Like to Rock - April Wine

Top 5 at Five
1. Run Runaway - Slade
2. Bark at the Moon - Ozzy
3. Beats the Heck out of Me - Kumar the Barbarian
4. The Pros and Cons of Hitch-hiking - Roger Waters
5. Whisper to a Scream - Icicle Works

Today was much better. When I got to school, I went straight to the Guidance office to get my insurance form signed. When I got to the cafe, [girlfriend?] was already upstairs. I bopped over there. She was feeling a lot better. Me too.

I  slept in 15 minutes after my alarm went off, so I couldn't shave.

In Weight Training, in squats I did 205 and deadlifting I did 195. Then, to my total surprise in Civics, [teacher] moved me right beside [girlfriend?]! I couldn't believe it!! She moved [another girl] in my seat and [yet another girl] into her seat. I was stunned but grateful! I didn't make a peep (well, maybe one peep) for the rest of the class! Wow!

After school, we had to wait for another bus because the steering was gone in ours. It was unbearable. Those stupid brats were screaming their heads off! I got home at 2:45.

She got a haircut after school today. Can't wait to see her! What a babe!

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, May 2, 1984

Song of the day: Centre of Eternity - Ozzy

Top 5 at Five
1. Bark at the Moon - Ozzy
2. Rock and Roll Rebel - Ozzy
3. Run Runaway - Slade
4. Beats the Heck Out of Me - Kumar the Barbarian
5. I Don't Know - Kumar the Barbarian

Another tricky day, fellah. [Girlfriend?] was kinda spaced this morning and after lunch, I found out why: She started telling me at lunch what was wrong, but she started to cry and we went upstairs. In the hall, she told me that she wasn't sure she wanted a boyfriend right now or not. She is so messed up because of that asshole [her ex] that she doesn't know what she wants. She said she still wanted to go to the prom with me and she still would call me and stuff. What it really boils down to is that we'll still be together all the time, just that we won't get "intimate" with each other. Well, I guess it could be worse. At least she still cares for me! I told her after the prom we'll see how she's feeling about "stuff." This is all [the ex's] fault! She's so upset about letting herself get used by him that she's confused about everything. I hope she comes to her senses and accepts me as her boyfriend! Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I got the Eddie Murphy tape today. It's hilarious! It cheered me up after what I've been through. Sheesh!

- The (confused) Barbarian
     
Postscript: Quite the roller coaster of emotion over this stretch of entries. Went from very high highs of young love to a sudden about-face all in the span of a few days. I can still remember the stunned feeling I had standing in that hallway as she laid this rap on me; I was dumbfounded. But don't worry...it gets worse.

In some respects, it's good that this happens at this point because those lovey-dovey passages were pretty fucking nauseating. But y'know, it was my first love. And it was valuable experience into the confusing ways of women.