Time is a Flat Circle

In less than an hour, the strangest April I've ever experienced is over. We were hoping things would be a little closer to normal after this quarantine month ended, but looks like it'll be more of the same for at least the next month and probably beyond.

I've been working from home since March 16. My office is actually still open but nobody's been going in except to get supplies. Even when we get the go-ahead to go back in, I'm not sure how many people will actually do it. Normalcy is what we all want, but we need to be smart about it.

But this month has been a weird one. It has sort of floated by. I've been busy with work, so that has helped, but it still feels like wasted time. I'd like to say things will get better in May, but who knows?

Eighteen

When I started this blog way the hell back on July 25, 2003, I was 35 and my daughter Hannah was just over a year old (and we just found out we were having a second child). Today, Hannah turned 18. Holy crap, right?

It's been a long, strange trip since the dog days of the summer of  '03. The world is a very different place now, especially as we're in the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic. But even before everything ground to a halt last month, things were vastly different. For one, I'm 52 now. That's crazy in and of itself. And if you told me or anybody else in the world (including him) in July 2003 that Donald Trump would be our president right now, you would have been laughed out of the room. And yet here we are.

But now my daughter is an adult. Still a high school senior and dependent on us, but able to vote and skydive and legally change her name, etc., etc. So much has happened over the last 18 years, of course. There were weepy days going to kindergarten (her, not me; no, really), swim lessons, a brief stint of T-ball, many years of soccer and lacrosse, field trips, science fairs, great report cards, a broken wrist, sprained ankles, college visits, the occasional tantrum, some sarcasm and mostly, a lot of fun.

It doesn't feel like it's going fast when you're in the middle of it and then suddenly you're sitting there across from a legal adult (with another one two years away). I have a lot of friends with little kids and babies right now and it seems so far in the past for me. I haven't changed a diaper since 2007. Of course, I also have friends whose kids have kids, so that's also strange.

Soon Hannah will be a high school graduate and then a college student, possibly in another country if all goes well and McGill University is able to have in-person classes. We still have a lot of reminders of those younger days when her voice was squeaky and she had bangs and carried a stuffed Elmo everywhere she went. I'm proud of the young woman she's become, but sometimes it's fun to look back at the cutie pie she was not too long ago.

Get Up Offa That Thing

High school is tough. Believe me, I know. I went to four of them. And of course, I've got a different view of it with two kids in high school. And there have been so many good and bad portrayals of high school life on TV and movies over the years, it almost seems pointless to try another one.

But last night we started watching Never Have I Ever, a new comedy on Netflix from Mindy Kaling, and man, is it great. It's the story of a young Indo-American girl beginning her sophomore year and bound and determined to change her social status and get a boyfriend. Kaling has been doing great work since she was on The Office; I never watched The Mindy Project, but I read some advance press on this show and figured we'd give it a shot.

I was a little nervous to watch it with the girls just because a lot of the early focus is on the lead character losing her virginity (not because they haven't seen stuff like that on TV, but because it's awkward, man), but the show handles it well and ends up going down different avenues for comedic effect. She's also a top student balancing the loss of her father and dealing with the clash of cultural expectations with her desire to be a typical American teen. One great touch is that it's narrated by tennis legend John McEnroe, and he does a terrific job. We ended up watching 6 of the 10 episodes last night and I expect we'll finish it off tonight. Definitely worth your time, and let's face it, you've got the time right now.

The show is loosely based on Kaling's childhood growing up in the Boston area. I can definitely relate to the culture clash, although only one of my parents was Hindu and we weren't raised as such, but instead as Christians by our mother. But we also had to deal with the multiple moves while I was in high school (my brother was still in elementary school during those years) thanks to my dad's ever-changing jobs. There was also the added challenge of not only being the new kid in school, but being new brown kid. Everything turned out fine in the end, but it wasn't without its bumps along the way. That's one reason I swore we weren't going to move while the kids were in school, and I'm happy that we've been able to maintain that stability. It's nuts to think that we've got one kid almost done with high school, but that's a topic for another day.

Market Forces

Just sitting here waiting for the rain to stop...It's normal for it to be rainy with a wind chill of 31 in late April, isn't it? Actually, around here, it's not unheard of. But I don't need to go outside and deal with it, I suppose.

It has been interesting to watch the push and pull of restarting the economy vs. public safety. Some of the southern states have started reopening gradually with essential businesses like movie theaters, tattoo parlors and bowling alleys among those given the go-ahead. Here in Massachusetts, we're treading a little more cautiously, which is fine by me but has some folks up in arms. I want to see things get back to normal as quickly as we can, but if we jump the gun and there's a COVID relapse, that would be a huge mistake.

We're watching what's happening north of the border with interest as well because Hannah will be attending McGill University in Montreal in the fall. Well, we hope she will. Today, the premier of Quebec announced that classes would resume in Quebec in May, so hopefully if all goes well, in-person classes will take place at McGill in September. If not, it will be done online, which would be understandable, but would also be a damn shame for Hannah to start her first semester. Fingers crossed, I guess.

Had a few more movies that I forgot to include from my list yesterday of recently viewed films:

• Parasite (2019) - I missed the big winner at the Oscars earlier this year when it was in theaters, but one positive of the pandemic is Hulu added it a lot earlier than it probably would have. A captivating film that demanded your attention if only to read the subtitles, but it offered some pretty sharp class culture commentary with a fairly insane finish. 
• The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) - Missed this one the first time around (and for the subsequent 20+ years afterward), but I had heard good things. Pierce Brosnan as the dashing billionaire art thief and Rene Russo as a conflicted insurance investigator who falls for him. Lots more of the sexing than I expected.
• Groundhog Day (1993) - A classic that certainly resonates with our current day-to-day existence. Bill Murray at his Bill Murray-est (that's a good thing in my book) in a clever film from late comic genius Harold Ramis.
• Wayne's World (1992) - Introduced the girls to this indelible piece of my early 20s. Some of it definitely doesn't hold up, but it's still endearing and appeals to my suburban Toronto upbringing, which paralleled Mike Myers' in some ways (although here it's transplanted to Chicago).
• The Naked Gun (1988) - Another one I loved from my youth. Some of the gags fall flat, but like Airplane, there's so many jokes packed in it, you're bound to laugh at something.
• Misery (1990) - Somehow I had never seen this through the years, although I pretty much knew the plot. Kathy Bates won an Oscar for her performance as psycho fan/serial killer Annie Wilkes and James Caan is very understated as the author she holds captive. Some good shocks and plot twists along the way.
• Purple Rain (1984) - Can't argue with the musical performances in this one. The plot's a little thin and the acting a tad wooden, but you can overlook all that when you're presented with the incredible live footage of Prince and the Revolution and The Time in their glory.

Film at 11

We're six weeks into the self-quarantine. It's crazy how quickly it's passed, but time flies when you're basically stuck in the house all the time.

Of course, that's not exactly true. I'm working from home, so my morning commute is walking into the kitchen, but I've been running outside every other day and checking in on my mom once a week (she can't drive anymore and I need to make sure she's got what she needs). The work structure during the week is helpful because I'm set up and working remotely from 8:30 to 5 every day. But there's still a lot of sameness to life during quarantine. Days flow into each other and it's easy to lose track of time.

We've done a few video calls with friends to maintain contact with someone other than the four of us. The girls certainly spend a fair amount of time in touch with their friends via social media; technically, they're still in school, but it's sort of a reduced series of assignments and certainly not as stringent as a regular school schedule. Often we're in four corners of the house, but we've been doing a family dominoes night on Saturdays and trying to watch some things together like Jeopardy and the occasional movie.

I haven't done as much binge-watching as you would expect. We're working our way through Schitt's Creek because those episodes are short and quick, but I've been watching a lot of movies. Mostly older stuff, a lot of which I'd seen before, but I've always loved movies and it helps pass the time, I guess.

Here's a list of some of the movies I've seen in the last six weeks in no particular order:

• Something Wild (1986) - Great early Jonathan Demme film that I hadn't seen in 30+ years. Still a lot of fun. Lots of good twists and turns, good performances from Jeff Daniels, Melanie Griffith and Ray Liotta, and the Feelies are in it playing a high school reunion.
• Slap Shot (1977) - A classic that I've probably seen a dozen times. Never gets old. Quintessential '70s film for more than just the hockey brawling.
• The Breakfast Club (1985) - I'm not as in the tank for John Hughes movies as other folks, but I've always enjoyed this one. 
• Uncle Buck (1989) - As much of a John Candy fan as I am, I'd never seen this one all the way through. Pretty fun.
• Die Hard (1988) - Introduced the girls to this holiday classic. Yippie-ky-aye, mofos.
• Splash (1984) - We watched a few early Tom Hanks movies. This is a favorite of mine, not the least of which because it has Candy and fellow SCTV alum Eugene Levy. Thumbs down to Disney+ for digitally obscuring Daryl Hannah's bare ass in a few scenes.
• The Money Pit (1986) - I saw this Hanks movie in the theater when it came out and I had a similar feeling about it then. Good people involved, but just not a good movie. Hanks and girlfriend Shelley Long move into a giant house that falls apart the second they move into it. 
• Shaun of the Dead (2004) - I love this movie. So goddamn good.
• Hot Fuzz (2007) - The second part of Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy and just as enjoyable as the first. Sadly, for whatever reason, the third one (2013's The World's End) never seems to be on any streaming channel.
• The Fugitive (1993) - Good action movie with Harrison Ford based on the old TV series about a doctor falsely accused of killing his wife. 
• Working Girl (1988) - Saw this when it came out. Very 1980s-looking romantic comedy with a good cast (including a young Alec Baldwin) and a cheesy Carly Simon soundtrack. Definitely notice now how every '80s/'90s movie set in NYC used to have at least one shot of the twin towers.
• Big (1988) - An old favorite from back in the day. More youngish Hanks.
• Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005) - Brangelina in full effect. Pretty enjoyable shoot-'em-up directed by the excellent Doug Liman.
• Burn After Reading (2008) - An underrated Coen brothers film with great comic performances by Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich and George Clooney.
• Raising Arizona (1987) - The first Coen brothers movie I had ever seen and still one of my favorites. Nic Cage and Holly Hunter are perfect in it, and former boxer Randall "Tex" Cobb in his greatest role.
• Ghost Rider (2007) - Totally cheesy Marvel adaptation with Cage as the title character. Kind of entertaining in parts, but pretty bad for the most part.
• Ratatouille (2007) - I had never seen it before, but very enjoyable Pixar film with Patton Oswalt in the lead role. 
• Stop Making Sense (1984) - Watched this classic Demme documentary with my daughter Lily, who's been getting into the rock music a little more. Amazing performances by the Talking Heads, who were never the same after this tour.
• Hype (1996) - For someone who was really into the Seattle indie rock scene in the early '90s, I somehow had never seen this until now. I even owned the soundtrack. Great look at the birth of the scene and the aftermath of Nirvana's rise.
• ZZ Top: That Little Ol' Band From Texas (2019) - Nice doc from Sam Dunn (Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage, Metal: A Headbanger's Journey) about ZZ Top tracing the band's origins and rise.
• Extraction (2020) - Netflix action pic starring Chris Hemsworth and produced by the Russo brothers. Pretty gory at times, some good sequences and shot in India. Nice cameo from David Harbour.

I'm sure there are others I've watched, but those are the ones I remember right now. No doubt many more to come before this thing is over.

Stuck In Thee Garage #318: April 24, 2020

Many have proclaimed that the album is dead, but I don't buy that notion. There are still plenty of great albums released all the time. This current quarantine situation certainly has me exploring a lot more albums in depth. This week on Stuck In Thee Garage, I played great title tracks in hour 2 (h/t to friend of the show Phil Stacey for the idea). All that said, don't touch my records. Ever.

This playlist must be filed alphabetically:

Hour 1
Artist - Song/Album
Car Seat Headrest - Hollywood/Making a Door Less Open
Green/Blue - With That Face/Green/Blue
Eyelids - Ceremony/The Accidental Falls
Savak - Bayonet/Rotting Teeth in the Horse's Mouth
Flat Worms - Market Forces/Antarctica
Peel Dream Magazine - Escalator Ism/Agitprop Alterna
Fiona Apple - Heavy Balloon/Fetch the Bolt Cutters
STRFKR - Never the Same/Future Past Life
Blonder - Bees in the Sun/Crystal Ball EP
Graveyard Club - Valens/Single
Will Johnson - Cornelius/Wire Mountain
Dead Stars - Always Down/Never Not Here
Pearl Jam - Comes Then Goes/Gigaton
Hamilton Leithauser - The Garbage Men/The Loves of Your Life
Elvis Depressedly - Let's Break Up the Band/Depressedelica
Moaning - Connect the Dots/Uneasy Laughter

Hour 2: Title tracks
Iggy & the Stooges - Raw Power/Raw Power
The Clash - London Calling/London Calling
X - Los Angeles/Los Angeles
Motorhead - Ace of Spades/Ace of Spades
Thin Lizzy - Thunder and Lightning/Thunder and Lightning
Soundgarden - Superunknown/Superunknown
Joe Jackson - I'm the Man/I'm the Man
The Jam - In the City/In the City
Bad Religion - Stranger Than Fiction/Stranger Than Fiction
The Hold Steady - Stay Positive/Stay Positive
The Tragically Hip - Fully Completely/Fully Completely
The Afghan Whigs - Gentlemen/Gentlemen
The Cars - Candy-O/Candy-O
The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - Orange/Orange
Paul McCartney and Wings - Band on the Run/Band on the Run
Prince - Sign O' the Times/Sign O' the Times

Stuck In Thee Garage #317: April 17, 2020

In times like these, it's not easy to maintain a positive outlook. But we have to keep pushing forward. This week on Stuck In Thee Garage, I played positive jams in hour 2. Things are still tough and not so great, but that doesn't mean we should wallow in the mire. Right, Kenneth?

This playlist may or may not be immortal:

Hour 1
Artist - Song/Album
Flat Worms - The Aughts/Antarctica
Dead Stars - Story of Your Life/Never Not Here
Peel Dream Magazine - Emotional Devotion Creator/Agitprop Alterna
The Strokes - The Adults Are Talking/The New Abnormal
Sharon Van Etten - Beaten Down/Single
STRFKR - Deep Dream/Future Past Life
Gully Boys - Hear You Calling/Phony
The Psychedelic Furs - Don't Believe/Made of Rain
Kiss the Tiger - Motel Room/Single
Grand Courriers - INIMRM/Habits
Dad Bod - Spirits/Single
Melkbelly - Little Bug/Pith
Savak - Vis-a-Vis/Rotting Teeth in the Horse's Mouth
Ty Segall - Drivin Along/Segall Smeagol
Drakulas - Level Up/Terminal Amusements

Hour 2: Positive
The Hold Steady - Positive Jam/Almost Killed Me
Spoon - Something to Look Forward to/Kill the Moonlight
The Posies - Please Return It/Amazing Disgrace
Urge Overkill - Positive Bleeding/Saturation
Frank Black - Hang On to Your Ego/Frank Black
Bloc Party - Positive Tension/Silent Alarm
Sugar - A Good Idea/Copper Blue
Thelonious Monster - Positive Train/Baby...You're Bummin' My Life Out in a Supreme Fashion
Ted Leo - You're Like Me/The Hanged Man
The Dirtbombs - Indivisible/We Have You Surrounded
Sloan - The Good In Everyone/One Chord to Another
Teenage Fanclub - Star Sign/Bandwagonesque
Flaming Lips - Do You Realize??/Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Peter Gabriel - Don't Give Up/So
Rancid - Time Bomb/...And Out Come the Wolves
Bad Brains - Attitude/Bad Brains
Temple of the Dog - Pushin' Forward Back/Temple of the Dog

Completely Conspicuous 533: Long Distance Runaround

Part 2 of my conversation with guest Brian Salvatore as we discuss quarantine life. Listen to the episode below or download directly.


Show notes:
- Recorded recently via Skype
- What's the first thing you'd do post-COVID?
- All the big movies got pushed back to later in the year or 2021
- Some movies are going straight to streaming
- When will we feel comfortable at crowded concerts again?
- If touring slows down, how will musicians survive?
- Artists may have to go directly to fans for support
- Lou Barlow started a subscription service
- Artists have done similar things for years: Rundgren, Prince
- Might see more music made by artists stuck at home
- Suddenly we have a lot of time to listen to records
- Jay: Daughter's into the Beatles now
- When you know songs you hate by heart
- Appreciating '70s-era McCartney
- Bad production really stands out on mix playlists
- Does anyone remember dynamics?
- Self-improvement activities to catch up on
- Brian: No time to do any of it so far
- Jay: Want to alphabetize my records
- No guilty pleasures: Making peace with disco
- Brian: Need to organize music room
- Jay: Hope to pick up the old guitar
- Bill Rieflin, R.I.P.

Completely Conspicuous is available through Apple Podcasts and anywhere else you get podcasts. Subscribe and write a review!

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Stuck In Thee Garage #316: April 10, 2020

As much I love great albums, the true test of a band (for me, anyway) is how good they are live. There's something about live music that really hits home for me. And that's one of the many things that have been so difficult during these quarantined times: No live music. So this week on Stuck In Thee Garage, I played great live jams in hour 2. It's like that time Chris Farley worked security for Mudhoney.

Remember that time I made that playlist? That was awesome:

Hour 1
Artist - Song/Album
Ty Segall - Gotta Get Up/Segall Smeagol
Drakulas - Fashion Forward/Terminal Amusements
Savak - Listening/Rotten Teeth in the Horse's Mouth
The SuperModels - Emotional Advice/Single
Andy Cook - Tried Pretty Hard/Single
Erik Koskinen - I Got You (To Get Me Through)/Single
Waxahatchee - Oxbow/Saint Cloud
Moaning - Coincidence Or Fate/Uneasy Laughter
Wolf Parade - Julia Take Your Man Home/Thin Mind
Pearl Jam - Superblood Wolfmoon/Gigaton
Guided By Voices - Man Called Blunder/Surrender Your Poppy Field
Hallelujah the Hills - We Are What We Say We Are/BOOTLEG: Rock 'N Roll Improved My Chemistry
The Wedding Present - Every Mother's Son/Tommy 30
Dogleg - Bueno/Melee
Melkbelly - Sickeningly Teeth/Pith
Chastity - Spirit Meetup/Home Made Satan
Sports Team - Here It Comes Again/Making Hay EP
Feet - Axe Man/What's Inside Is More Than Just Ham

Hour 2: Live
Beach Slang - Hard Luck Kid/Live on KUTX
Krill - Turd/Live on WOBC 
Courtney Barnett - History Eraser/Live on KUTX
Guided By Voices - Postal Blowfish/Live at Threadwaxing Space, NYC 6/25/94
Sloan - Deeper Than Beauty/Japan 2002 Bootleg
Gord Downie and the Sadies - Search and Destroy/Live on CBC Fuse
The Cult - Brothers Grimm/B-Sides, Etc.
Bullet Lavolta - X-Fire/Force Majeure (The RCA Anthology '90-'92)
Blue Oyster Cult - Cities On Flame With Rock 'N Roll (live)/Tyranny and Mutation (B-side)
The Hold Steady - The Swish/Live at Schuba's 3/12/04
Neil Young and Crazy Horse - Cinnamon Girl/Live at Fukuoka 3/8/76
Stephen Malkmus - Baby C'mon/Live at the Crystal Ballroom, Portland, OR 1/20/07
Ween - Buckingham Green/Live on Nothing TV 1997
Mark Lanegan - The River Rise/Live on KNDD 10/19/99
Mike Watt - Piss Bottle Man/Live in Chicago 1995
Queens of the Stone Age - Do It Again/Live at the Melkweg 6/24/02

 

Completely Conspicuous 532: Life During Quarantine

Part 1 of my conversation with guest Brian Salvatore as we discuss quarantine life. Listen to the episode below or download directly.


Show notes:
- Recorded last week via Skype
- Homeschooling is hard work
- A month in, the hoarding continues
- Brian's second-grader has a lot of schoolwork
- Brian was down in Florida to spend a few days at spring training
- Had planned to visit family in Arizona in March, but decided not to
- Virus moved quickly
- Brian saw Jonathan Richman concert in March
- Jay: Was supposed to fly to California for a conference in March, but it was canceled
- Had tickets to Archers of Loaf concert in mid-March that was canceled
- Jay: Working from home full-time
- Brian: Trying to find non-screen activities for the kids
- We're spending a lot of time with our families, which isn't a bad thing
- We've never had a situation like this where everything is shut down
- A lot of people are out of work or unable to work right now
- No sports to watch during one of the best times of year for sports
- Sports may come back without crowds in attendance
- When will things go back to normal?
- Kids' school sports, activities are on hold
- Touring musicians are losing a ton of money
- South Korea was able to shut everything down and come out on the other end
- One person can do a lot of damage
- Spring break idiots
- Adam Schlesinger, R.I.P. (this was recorded before he died)
- Washing our hands more than ever before
- Missing out on draft beer
- We're lucky to be able to work from home
- How will the economy bounce back?
- To be continued

Completely Conspicuous is available through Apple Podcasts and anywhere else you get podcasts. Subscribe and write a review!

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Stuck In Thee Garage #315: April 3, 2020

If you're like me, this pandemic has got you listening to a lot of music. It's also got me thinking about picking up my guitar and making ungodly sounds again. This week on Stuck In Thee Garage, I played songs about playing in a band in hour 2. Just make sure you've got your band's name figured out before you get the all-clear to start jamming again:

This playlist does not feature Herman Menderchuk, sadly:

Hour 1
Artist - Song/Album
Moaning - Make It Stop/Uneasy Laughter
Drakulas - Dark Black/Terminal Amusements
Charly Bliss - Supermoon/Supermoon
Throwing Muses - Dark Blue/Sun Racket
Pearl Jam - Never Destination/Gigaton
Eldridge Rodriguez - There's No Control/Slightest of Treason
Childish Gambino - 53.49/3.15.20
Greg Dulli - The Tide/Random Desire
Porridge Radio - Lilac/Every Bad
Drive-By Truckers - Babies In Cages/The Unraveling
Eddy Current Suppression Ring - Shoulders/All In Good Time
Dogleg - Watortle/Melee
Jonny Polonsky - Take Me Home/Kingdom of Sleep
Beach Slang - Nobody Say Nothing/The Deadbeat Bang of Heartbreak City
Caspian - Circles On Circles/On Circles

Hour 2: Playing in a band
David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust/The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars
Paul McCartney and Wings - Rock Show/Venus and Mars
Ty Segall - Break a Guitar/Ty Segall
Drive-By Truckers - Road Cases/Southern Rock Opera
Tenacious D - Kyle Quit the Band/Tenacious D
McLusky - Fuck This Band/McLusky Do Dallas
AC/DC - Let There Be Rock/Let There Be Rock
Don Babylon - Started a Band/Foul!
White Reaper - The World's Best American Band/The World's Best American Band
Hunx and His Punx - Baby of the Band/Hardly Art sampler
The Smithereens - Behind the Wall of Sleep/Especially For You
The Stone Roses - She Bangs the Drums/The Stone Roses
Piebald - All You Need is Drums to Start a Dance Party/If It Weren't For Venetian Blinds It Would Be Curtains For Us All
Kim Mitchell - Diary For Rock 'N Roll Men/Akimbo Alogo
Sloan - Money City Maniacs/Navy Blues
PUP - If This Tour Doesn't Kill You, I Will/The Dream Is Over