Monday, January 31, 2005

The forecast calls for pain

Actually, the weather has normalized from its Buffalo-like tendencies of the last few weeks. Usually, we coastal communities get much less snow than our counterparts to the north and west, but this year it has been the opposite. Come to think of it, the weather has been cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs all over the world. Tsunamis, mudslides, avalanches, snow in Texas...there's some seriously wack shiznitt going on.

Some disturbing news from the world of beer: Anheuser-Busch, maker of the so-called King of Beers, has unveiled something they call "B to the E." This concoction is targeted at those oh-so-lucrative twentysomethings, who apparently are dying to get their hands on a beer that contains caffeine, fruit flavoring, and ginseng. Of course, the microbrew craze of the early '90s brought us many fine beers that have fruit accents, like Sam Adams' Cherry Wheat and Summer Ale. But this just sounds nasty. And the whole "extreme beer" marketing of it smacks of the stupid crap they were coming out with when I was a twentysomething a decade ago. Remember OK Soda? Coke developed this in 1994 to appeal to the "slackers" they figured were everywhere because they saw that crapulent movie Reality Bites. Unfortunately for Coke, not enough Ethan Hawke wannabes could muster the energy to get off the couch and buy their soda, so they killed it.

I've always found generational demographics interesting, if only for how misguided they can sometimes be. How do you sum up an entire generation in a single phrase? Baby boomers, Generation X, tweeners, whatever. The latest one that Time magazine recently attempted to coin was Twixters (preview: registration required), who are the twentysomethings that don't want to grow up, according to Time writer Lev Grossman. These crazy kids, they like to party. Puh-leeze.

Of course, when you see the results of a recent survey that found that more than a third of high school students think the First Amendment goes too far, you start to worry about the future. Stupidity or ignorance? Probably a dangerous combination of both. Maybe the kids were all hungover after a night of ripping it up with some B to the E.

Caught some AHL action Saturday night when I joined my bro-in-law Steve at the Lowell Lock Monsters-Worcester Ice Cats game in Lowell. It was fun, although it took all my power to keep from throttling the nitwit sitting next to me; the guy insisted on keeping a running commentary going during the game even though he had no clue what was going on. Nonetheless, a good time.

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