Through the Past Dorkily: This Could Be the Right One

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.


Apologies for several days of slackery. Too much going on. But here's a mega-post of dorky goodness.


Tuesday, March 20, 1984

Song of the day: Trashed -  Black Sabbath


Top 5 at Five
1. Heaven - Bryan Adams
2. Jump - Van Halen
3. Against All Odds - Phil Collins
4. Runaway - Bon Jovi
5. Walking in My Sleep - Roger Daltrey

First day of spring. It sure didn't look like it today. It was miserable, just like yesterday. We had an assembly, which made us miss 2nd. Oh, drat! We saw this dumb Atari movie about computers, but at least I got out of Civics!

Got a Bi Sci test tomorrow. Got to get an A on it!

Dad stayed home because he was sick.

Till next we meet,

The Barbarian

Wednesday, March 21, 1984

Song of the day: Eminence Front - The Who

Top 5 at Five
1. Against All Odds - Phil Collins
2. Panama - Van Halen
3. Heaven - Bryan Adams
4. Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions
5. Murder - David Gilmour

Another miserable day, weather-wise. I got a 95 on a Civics quiz from last week. That Bi Sci test was easy. I think I got an A. We got an Algebra quiz tomorrow. We can use our notebooks, but I know that stuff anyways.

Me and [cute girl I like] are getting along pretty good. Awesome!

[Buddy of mine] lent me "The Elfstones of Shannara." I started reading the minute I got home, and I stopped at page 325. There's 585 pages. Good book.

All day I've been saying (in my best Jewish accent) "What'd you do, GET FIRED?" (Billy Crystal said it on Sat. Night Live last week)

- The Barbarian

Thursday, March 22, 1984

Song of the day: Run Runaway - Slade

Top 5 at Five
1. Panama - Van Halen
2. All Lovers Are Deranged - David Gilmour
3. Against All Odds - Phil Collins
4. Runaway - Bon Jovi
5. Drive - The Cars

Well, at least the sun came out today. I got an A++ on the urinanalysis lab in Bi Sci. The Algebra quiz seemed easy. I hope I did good.

Like wow, man. [Cute girl I like] wore this awesome dress (that she made herself), and she looked absolutely HOT! Man! I just can't get her out of my head. Not that I really want to!

- The Barbarian

Friday, March 23, 1984

Song of the day: Space Truckin' - Deep Purple

Top 5 at Five
1. Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions
2. Against All Odds - Phil Collins
3. Magic - The Cars
4. Heaven - Bryan Adams
5. Jump - Van Halen

It's Friday! I'm glad the weekend is here! I need the rest.

I got a 92 on my Geometry quiz, a 90 on my Bi Sci test, and an 88 on my Algebra quiz. Not bad, eh?

I was talking with [cute girl I like] again today! She's getting friendlier with me! I'm just captivated by her! She's great!

[Female classmate] told me that [schlubby dude] asked her to the prom. She said she started laughing on the phone! Apparently, he's already (unsuccessfully) asked 4 other girls! What a dork!

- The Barbarian

Saturday, March 24, 1984

Song of the day: This Could Be the Right One - April Wine

Alright day. After guitar lessons, I drove us straight to Salem (Daddy's Junky Music). I drove pretty good. Mom put a hi-hat on layaway for JP. I was looking for a guitar strap but they didn't have any good ones. They had this cool Flying V pin, but it cost $8! Geez!

Then we went to Methuen. I bought April Wine's new album, Animal Grace. It cranks! Plus I got two Rush pins, 2112 and the man-in-star one. I bought the new Guitar World mag. It has a good story on Rush.

We're going to that church in Plaistow tomorrow. Only thing is, service starts at 8 o'clock!

- The Barbarian

Sunday, March 25, 1984

Song of the day: Something for Nothing - Rush

We went to that church this morning. The service was only 45 minutes long! I couldn't believe it. There were only around 10 other people there. Mom says we'll go there from now on.  

We took the garbage to the dump and then I filled out my SAT form. I decided to pursue aerospace and aeronautical engineering. Not bad.

I ordered "Eddie Murphy - Comedian" on cassette from Columbia. I've still got three more to buy after that!

I watched "Alien" on TV. Scary stuff! Good movie.

- The Barbarian

Monday, March 26, 1984

Song of the day: Love Bites - Judas Priest
JUDAS PRIEST CONCERT TONITE! (which I did not attend)

Top 5 at Five
1. Against All Odds - Phil Collins
2. Some Heads Are Gonna Roll -  Judas Priest
3. Oh Sherri - Steve Perry
4. Heaven - Bryan Adams
5. Jump - Van Halen

I got on the bus this morning. Jeremy got on and told me that one of [his girlfriend's] friends wanted to meet me. Her name's [redacted] and she's a freshman. Jeremy said she's good looking. He said he'd try and bring a picture of her. He called me later and said that she would meet me tomorrow at his house! Like wow, man!

Man, I'm tellin' ya, [cute girl I like]'s gettin' friendlier every day! Today she even waited for me after Geometry to walk with her and in Algebra we worked together! Awesome!

Tomorrow should prove interesting.

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, March 27, 1984

Song of the day: Killer - Pat Travers

Like wow, man. [Jeremy's girlfriend's friend]'s a babe! She could pass for a sophomore at Sanborn. We got along pretty well. She's a good-looking chick! I like her!

We (juniors) had a class meeting during 5th period so I didn't get to talk to [cute girl I like] that much today. Drat!

The college-bound juniors have a meeting 2nd period on Thursday. I don't mind that one.

It seems [Jeremy's girlfriend's friend] is the one who used to go with [classmate] in 6th grade. She called him a scum at that dance (Timberlane) that Jeremy went to. She hates his guts now. Along with 30 million other people! Ha ha!

Well, I hope to see more of [Jeremy's girlfriend's friend] in the near future.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, March 28, 1984

Song of the day: Hot Rails to Hell - Blue Oyster Cult

What a strange day. Bad news first. After coming home from school, I was reading Newsweek when Mom started screaming. Those two dogs that come by sometimes were attacking Caesar, who was tied out back. They were beating the hell out of him! He couldn't fight back and they were biting his ears, legs, balls, everything. I ran out and started hitting them with the least and sticks and kicking 'em but they wouldn't leg go. Bastards! Finally, Caesar got loose and ran up the stairs, and I got him in the house. He was cut all over, poor boy. We called a cop to get those 2 dogs, who it turns out, live next door. Caesar went to the vet and got some antibiotics. He'll be okay.

Now the good news. When I got to school, it seemed Jeremy told everyone about me and [Jeremy's girlfriend's friend]. Jeez. [A female classmate] was even askin' me about her! But I don't care. After school, Jeremy told me that she said I was cute and funny (as in comedian). He also said that she would be at his girlfriend's house Friday night and I was invited. I gladly accepted! Mom said I could go so everything is set! I can't wait! She's a babe!

-  The Barbarian

Thursday, March 29, 1984

Song of the day: Blackout - Scorpions

Top 5 at Five
1. Oh Sherri - Steve Perry
2. I'll Wait - Van Halen
3. Prime Time - Alan Parsons Project
4. Runaway - Bon Jovi
5. ?

This day sucked. School was closed because of the storm. When I got up, there was no snow. That quickly changed. It got real windy and started snowing like crazy. I played a few albums and was generally bored till Mom got home. She got stuck in the snow just before our driveway. A couple of guys with a tow truck helped us get into the driveway. Then around 5:30, the power went. Just like that. I got out my Walkman and listened to some tapes. We got candles and a Coleman lantern out. Dad made it home around 6 or so. We just sat around and waited for the power to come on. It didn't.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Well, things were seemingly turning around for our young hero's romantic life. It's kind of the way things have always gone for me. When I stopped trying, suddenly things would happen. 
 
I had to laugh at the entry when I'm making fun of someone for being a dork. Pot, kettle, etc.

I picked "aerospace and aeronautical engineering" as a possible career. By the time I got to college, it was chemical engineering. And by the time I almost flunked out a few months later, it became journalism. And that worked out just fine.

That dog attack was pretty freaky. I got right out there in the shit and started wailing on those dogs, which were pit bulls. If they had decided to turn on me, I would've been in deep trouble. Apparently, they only went after other dogs. Things wouldn't end well for them.