Through the Past Dorkily: All Lovers Are Deranged

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

 Thursday, March 1, 1984

ROGER DALTREY'S BIRTHDAY

Song of the day: Free Me - Roger Daltrey

Top 5 at Five
1. I'll Wait - Van Halen
2. Eat It - Weird Al
3. All Lovers Are Deranged - David Gilmour
4. Heaven - Bryan Adams
5. In the Beginning/Shout at the Devil - Motley Crue

Not much doing today. Mom and JP went to the Methuen Mall with some friends today but I stayed home. I re-taped "Blizzard of Ozz" by Ozzy and "Number of the Beast" by Maiden. The Maiden one went okay, but the Ozzy one got all screwed up. I still don't know what happened!

Mom bought me a jacket. It's beige. I don't know, Ma...

I was watching Live on 4 and Joe Piscopo was on. He said he probably would not be back on SNL next year. Plus last week was Eddie Murphy's last show! Bummer!

I saw a commercial for a new movie, Splash. It's got John Candy and Eugene Levy in it. And it's PG. I gotta see it!

Jeremy called and said he could take me to Methuen tomorrow. Good deal.

- The (bored) Barbarian

Friday, March 2, 1984

Song of the day: Two Hearts Beat as One - U2

Top 5 at Five
1. Heaven - Bryan Adams
2. I'll Wait - Van Halen
3. In the Beginning/Shout at the Devil - Motley Crue
4. Leave It - Yes
5. Tear It Up - Queen

Went to Methuen today. Before going to the mall, Jeremy's mom stopped at the junkyard. I met Jeremy's cousin. Not a bad looking chick (she's 15). She said she might have a jacuzzi party next week, and Jeremy said he'd invite me [and cute girls from school], among others. Can't wait!

At the mall, I bought "Shout at the Devil" by the Crue and two magazines. When I got home, I found that I got a postcard from [aforementioned cute girls, who were in Florida for the week]. Wow, man. Plus I got the new Guitar magazine. Then I went and got a haircut. Sandy, my hairdresser, wasn't there so someone else did my hair. Did a good job, too.

I'm thinking of going skating tomorrow. It's wicked cold out there!

- The Barbarian

Saturday, March 3, 1984

Song of the day: When the Lady Smiles - Golden Earring

Didn't do too much today. Just went to the dump, and then the Carriage Towne Plaza, where I saw the luscious [girl from school]. Then I came home and went skating on the pond for a couple of hours. I listened to my new Motley album. That's it, man.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, March 4, 1984

Song of the day: Hot for Teacher - Van Halen

Today I reached new heights in boredom. The only thing I did all day watch the Bruins-Whalers game on TV. Hartford won 6-4.

Hopefully tomorrow won't be boring.

- The Barbarian

Monday, March 5, 1984

Song of the day: Run Like Hell - Pink Floyd

Top 5 at Five
1. Heaven - Bryan Adams
2. Jump - Van Halen
3. Eat It - Weird Al
4. In the Beginning/Shout at the Devil - Motley Crue
5. Against All Odds - Phil Collins

Just yer typical Monday. Wore that blasted beige jacket and I got ragged on by [a couple of buddies of mine]. Stupid homos. You can bet I'm never wearing it again!

I went for my detention in Bi Sci after school. [Teacher] let me go after 10 minutes. I looked out the window and saw the bus leaving! Then I had to wait 2 hours for the damn late bus. To make things worse, the bus got re-routed because of an accident and I got home at 5. 

Jeremy invited me to his jacuzzi party on Saturday. [Another buddy] is going, too. [Cute girl] isn't going because she has a cheering tournament or something. Damn!

Dad phoned at 5:30 and said he'd be working late. Well, it's 11 right now, and he still isn't home! Mom's working evenings. I'm gonna call his work number. Seeya later.

I called Dad. He was still working and came home at midnite.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Had to laugh at the beige jacket debacle. That's why you shouldn't let your mom buy you clothes when you're in high school, kids. Not to mention the fact that it was a Members Only-type of jacket, whereas I usually wore a scruffy ski vest. 

I was still in the nascent stages of my home taping, not having discovered the joy of a real tape deck and Dolby sound. You can read about the gazillion mix tapes I made in later years with my Mixology series of posts, which started here. My recording technique in 1984 basically involved putting a boombox in front of my speakers. I bought everything on vinyl at this point, anyway. 

Watched Splash again a few months ago and it still holds up for the most part. I was a huge SCTV fan from my days living in Toronto, so Candy and Levy were the big draws, but I also knew young Tom Hanks from his early '80s sitcom Bosom Buddies, which I enjoyed. I was also a major SNL fan and of course had a big appreciation for the talent of Eddie Murphy (and yes, Joe Piscopo).

David Gilmour's solo album, About Face, came out around this time and even though it's fairly forgotten now, it was pretty good. I particularly enjoyed the first single on rock radio: