Through the Past Dorkily: We're an American Band

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Tuesday, July 17, 1984

Song of the day: Cold Shot - Stevie Ray Vaughan

Top 5 at Five
1. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
2. Back Where I Started - Box of Frogs
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. Still Loving You - Scorpions
5. The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking - Roger Waters

Wow! What a day! It was great! Me and Jeremy went to the beach at 9:30. The weather was perfect! First we were sitting near the water, but then we met [two attractive female classmates], so we sat with them. They were looking good. We all left just before 2. But it was just a beautiful beach day.

- The (beachcomber) Barbarian

Wednesday, July 18, 1984

Song of the day: Two Sides of Love - Sammy Hagar

I was awakened by the phone at 12. It was [guitar-playing buddy]. He asked me if I could come over and jam. I said sure. He gave me directions to Custeau's, but I called Jeremy and got different directions. These screwed me up totally. I asked Jeff at the Gulf station and I finally got there at 2, an hour late. We went to [his friend the drummer]'s house and started jamming. I learned some of the rhythm part for an original song called "Black Corvette" and for "Lick It Up" by KISS. It was great. We also watched MTV. Videos by Ratt, Priest (Heading Out to the Highway), Stevie Ray (Cold Shot), Quiet Riot (Mama), Scorps (Still Loving You), Twisted Sister (We're Not Gonna Take It), Jon Butcher Axis (Life Takes a Life) were on. Then we went to the Bucket to go shopping. We zipped through in 10 minutes. After that, I dropped [drummer dude] off at his mom's house and I took [guitar dude] home. I was gonna stay awhile, but his mom was bitching at him so I left. Got home around 7. I'm in a band! Yah!

- The (rhythm) Barbarian

Thursday, July 19, 1984

Song of the day: Institutionalized - Suicidal Tendencies

Top 5 at Five
1. Round and Round - Ratt
2. Hello Again - The Cars
3. Still Loving You - Scorpions
4. Missing You - John Waite
5. Missed it

Good day. I got up at 10. At 11, I picked Jeremy up and went to get my check. Unfortunately, they didn't have 'em in yet. So I had to take $20 out of the bank (which I will put back in when I get the check). Then we went to Water Country. It was great. We spent the whole day going down the slides and checking out the girls. It was great.

We left at 4. I then picked up my check ($65.10), dropped Jeremy off and went home.

Tomorrow, we're going to the beach at 8. This means I'll have to skip my appointment at Mark Lawrence. Oh well.

- The Barbarian

Friday, July 20, 1984

Song of the day: Rock You - Helix

Top 5 at Five
1. Missing You - John Waite
2. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
3. The Warrior - Scandal
4. Round and Round - Ratt
5. New Girl Now - Honeymoon Suite

What a day! I got up at 7. We got to Hampton Beach at 8:30. There was hardly anyone there. We saw [classmate] picking up trash. She was the only one we saw there that we knew. But there were plenty of nice looking females! We watched 'em all day. We left at 3. The weather was even better than Tuesday!

At 6, we went to the movies. But guess what: [cute chick] couldn't go. Geez! She never gets out of the house! This sucks. She did say we could come over tomorrow. I have to mow the law before I go over.

We saw Best Defense and The Karate Kid. Best Defense was alright. Eddie Murphy should've been featured more. The Karate Kid was awesome! It totally kicked butt!

- The (beach) Barbarian

Saturday, July 21, 1984

Song of the day: Condition Critical - Quiet Riot

Today was pretty boring. But I guess, after 4 good days in a row, I was due for a bad one. First I got up and mowed the lawn. Then later on I went to [cute chick's] house for a few hours. BORING! We couldn't really do anything because her dumb sister kept bugging us. This is going nowhere. I don't know.

Dad, Mom and JP got home at 6:30 p.m. They brought me a hat and a couple of shirts. JP got me an Iron Maiden pin and Mom got me some candy.

I'm working Monday, Thursday and Saturday, 3-10. I met [guitar dude] at the Bucket. He said he'd call me Tuesday or Wednesday to see if we can get together on Wednesday.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, July 22, 1984

Song of the day: Don't Stop Running - Y&T

Didn't do a heckuva lot today. Slept in, took garbage. Went to the Bucket with Mom. Washed clothes. That's all, folks.

- The Barbarian

Monday, July 23, 1984

Song of the day: Lack of Communication - Ratt

Boring day. I went to work at 3. That was real fun.

I got my hair cut this morning. It looks pretty good.

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, July 24, 1984

Song of the day: Panama - Van Halen

Top 5 at Five
1. Still Loving You - Scorpions
2. The Warrior - Scandal
3. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
4. Bobbie Jean - Bruce Springsteen
5. Missing You - John Waite

You thought yesterday was boring: Sheesh! I was totally listless all day. I didn't do a thing.

My bed arrived today. I had to push it against the wall so I don't fall off it at night.

Mom decided to order some pictures after all. I haveta go to Mark Lawrence at 11:15 tomorrow.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, July 25, 1984

Song of the day: Sign of the Times - Quiet Riot

I took Mom to work, then I put $30 in the bank, giving me $190 total. I picked up Dad's pictures, none of which developed. Then I went to Mark Lawrence and settled that business. I get the pictures in a month. When I got home, I found out that [guitar dude] had called. I called him back and he said we could practice today. I went over around 11:45. We went to [drummer dude]'s house, where we wasted an hour because he was arguing with some burnout in the john! Then he had to get a haircut. While he was gone, [guitar dude] taught me the riff of "Rock You Like a Hurricane." We were working on a new song but we didn't get much done.

JP called around 5 for me to pick up Mom.

[Guitar dude] let me use his strap. I gotta get a new cord, mine sucks.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Vacation week. So, the band thing. It was fun while it lasted, but like my girlfriends at the time, it didn't last long. I tracked down the drummer on Facebook a few years ago; sadly, the guitarist died in '92, but that's all I know about that. I remember he had a bitchin' Ibanez Explorer and was a good lead player. I wish I had kept up with the guitar and tried to form another band or something, but I didn't play in another band for another 15 years or so. 

The chick situation was growing increasingly lame; between her mom and her siblings, I couldn't get her alone to do any mackin'. Things were dissipating quickly.

We used to spend a lot of time at the beach back in those days. No worries about UV radiation or the like. We'd just like out for five or six hours checking out the hotties. Definitely fun times.

Don't remember learning the riff to "Lick It Up," but hey, it's not exactly challenging:

 

Through the Past Dorkily: Working Man

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Sunday, June 3, 1984

Song of the day: Working Man - Rush

Well, I don't know what to do for an oral report in Civics. I'm dead.

We went to Methuen Mall where I got a blue blazer and 2 ties. That took till around 4. Then I had to mow the lawn. Fun. 

Hey! It was a beautiful day, sunny and in the '70s. This week is supposed to be wicked nice!

At the mall, I saw that girl from the party last night. She's the one we pretended to gang-bang! Now you remember, eh? Seriously, though, she's pretty nice.

Tomorrow's my first day at work. I hope everything goes alright.

- The Barbarian

Monday, June 4, 1984

Song of the day: No Surrender - Bruce Springsteen

Everybody cracked up at my Hawaiian shirt and etc. I got an 82 on Bi Sci test, 96 on Algebra test, 78 on my Vocab project, and a 95 on a French test.

Work went all right. My shoes suck, though. They're too dressy and uncomfortable. I work 3-7 tomorrow and Wednesday (damn) and 5-10 Saturday. Hope [cute girl]'s working tomorrow. I need a ride!

Today was wicked nice! Sun!

I watched the Toronto-Detroit game til midnight. Detroit won 6-3 in 10 innings. Stupid umpires!

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, June 5, 1984

Song of the day: She's Mine - Steve Perry

Man, I'm tired! I went to bed at 12:30 last night and got up at 5:30 to take a shower.

The school day went by pretty uneventfully. Everybody's psyched about tomorrow, including me!

Our driveway was paved today. It kicks!

[Cute girl] gave me a ride to work today. What a babe!

I'm taking [cute girl], Jeremy and [buddy] to the beach tomorrow. [Another buddy]'s getting a ride from [another guy]. Man, it's gonna be great.

The weather's supposed to be awesome!

I finally got those 2 issues of Guitar magazine I've been waiting for. One has Eddie VH on the cover and the other Randy Rhoads. Next month has Alex Lifeson!

I worked till close today. My dinner was 3 candy bars and a root beer. I got home at 10. Whew!

- The (tired) Barbarian

Wednesday, June 6, 1984

Song of the day: Sex and Drugs and Rock 'n Roll - Ian Dury and the Blockheads

What a day!

I left for Jeremy's at 9:45. Then we picked up [buddy]. Backing out of his drive, I almost had a heart attack when I hit this massive rock! Fortunately it only nicked the plastic fender part. Phew.

Then we picked up [cute girl] and went through Salisbury to the beach. We got there just before 11. It was packed! We parked in a motel parking lot for $2. I almost hit a car while parking. It took me 5 minutes to park it right.

When we got on the beach, it was beautiful. And the weather wasn't bad either! Man! Girls everywhere! There were Sanborn people everywhere! I think the whole school skipped (except two dorks). Wow! [Several attractive girls] and more. Thank God for mirrored sunglasses! It started getting cloudy around 12:30, though. We went to McDonald's and met [two hot classmates]. Gaga! Better boobs can't be found!! Incredible. It started getting chilly and we left around 1. That sucked. I wanted to stay till 2. Me, Jeremy and [buddy] left. [Cute chick] stayed and got a ride from [another classmate]. As it turns out, I got home at 2. I worked from 3-7 today. Ironic: [Dude possibly dating ex-gf] works at the Bucket, too. He's cool.

- The (beach) Barbarian

Thursday, June 7, 1984

Song of the day: The Mask - Roger Glover


Steamy day. In the 90s.

Believe it or not, I got a B on my oral report in Civics. It sucked! I would have given it a D! Well, I"m not complaining.

I was pretty tired today.

About half the school ( 250 or so) skipped yesterday! Awesome turnout!

I got home and collapsed on my bed for about 3 hours!

Later,

The Barbarian

Friday, June 8, 1984

Song of the day: We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister

Top 5 at Five
1. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
2. My Oh My - Slade
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
5. Little Lady - Duke Jupiter

Today was even hotter than yesterday. This weather leaves me kind of sluggish.

We made the paper! The Haverhill Gazette had a front page story about our skip day. I cracked up!

We got our prom pictures today. In one of them, I have my damn eyes closed. That sucks. The other one's alright, though.

Next week is finals. Ugh.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Getting used to working at the Bucket. It was definitely a transition. I was going from a day that went from 6 a.m. to about 3 p.m. and extending that by another seven or eight hours on my feet doing manual labor. It was good, though. Got some cash in my pocket, made some friends and definitely got a little more of a work ethic. 

This first few months of driving definitely had some close calls like me driving into that stupid rock, but fortunately nothing remotely close to an accident. And this was before we had cell phones and other shit to distract us. It was just our own stupidity, as it was meant to be.