Through the Past Dorkily: We're an American Band

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Tuesday, July 17, 1984

Song of the day: Cold Shot - Stevie Ray Vaughan

Top 5 at Five
1. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
2. Back Where I Started - Box of Frogs
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. Still Loving You - Scorpions
5. The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking - Roger Waters

Wow! What a day! It was great! Me and Jeremy went to the beach at 9:30. The weather was perfect! First we were sitting near the water, but then we met [two attractive female classmates], so we sat with them. They were looking good. We all left just before 2. But it was just a beautiful beach day.

- The (beachcomber) Barbarian

Wednesday, July 18, 1984

Song of the day: Two Sides of Love - Sammy Hagar

I was awakened by the phone at 12. It was [guitar-playing buddy]. He asked me if I could come over and jam. I said sure. He gave me directions to Custeau's, but I called Jeremy and got different directions. These screwed me up totally. I asked Jeff at the Gulf station and I finally got there at 2, an hour late. We went to [his friend the drummer]'s house and started jamming. I learned some of the rhythm part for an original song called "Black Corvette" and for "Lick It Up" by KISS. It was great. We also watched MTV. Videos by Ratt, Priest (Heading Out to the Highway), Stevie Ray (Cold Shot), Quiet Riot (Mama), Scorps (Still Loving You), Twisted Sister (We're Not Gonna Take It), Jon Butcher Axis (Life Takes a Life) were on. Then we went to the Bucket to go shopping. We zipped through in 10 minutes. After that, I dropped [drummer dude] off at his mom's house and I took [guitar dude] home. I was gonna stay awhile, but his mom was bitching at him so I left. Got home around 7. I'm in a band! Yah!

- The (rhythm) Barbarian

Thursday, July 19, 1984

Song of the day: Institutionalized - Suicidal Tendencies

Top 5 at Five
1. Round and Round - Ratt
2. Hello Again - The Cars
3. Still Loving You - Scorpions
4. Missing You - John Waite
5. Missed it

Good day. I got up at 10. At 11, I picked Jeremy up and went to get my check. Unfortunately, they didn't have 'em in yet. So I had to take $20 out of the bank (which I will put back in when I get the check). Then we went to Water Country. It was great. We spent the whole day going down the slides and checking out the girls. It was great.

We left at 4. I then picked up my check ($65.10), dropped Jeremy off and went home.

Tomorrow, we're going to the beach at 8. This means I'll have to skip my appointment at Mark Lawrence. Oh well.

- The Barbarian

Friday, July 20, 1984

Song of the day: Rock You - Helix

Top 5 at Five
1. Missing You - John Waite
2. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
3. The Warrior - Scandal
4. Round and Round - Ratt
5. New Girl Now - Honeymoon Suite

What a day! I got up at 7. We got to Hampton Beach at 8:30. There was hardly anyone there. We saw [classmate] picking up trash. She was the only one we saw there that we knew. But there were plenty of nice looking females! We watched 'em all day. We left at 3. The weather was even better than Tuesday!

At 6, we went to the movies. But guess what: [cute chick] couldn't go. Geez! She never gets out of the house! This sucks. She did say we could come over tomorrow. I have to mow the law before I go over.

We saw Best Defense and The Karate Kid. Best Defense was alright. Eddie Murphy should've been featured more. The Karate Kid was awesome! It totally kicked butt!

- The (beach) Barbarian

Saturday, July 21, 1984

Song of the day: Condition Critical - Quiet Riot

Today was pretty boring. But I guess, after 4 good days in a row, I was due for a bad one. First I got up and mowed the lawn. Then later on I went to [cute chick's] house for a few hours. BORING! We couldn't really do anything because her dumb sister kept bugging us. This is going nowhere. I don't know.

Dad, Mom and JP got home at 6:30 p.m. They brought me a hat and a couple of shirts. JP got me an Iron Maiden pin and Mom got me some candy.

I'm working Monday, Thursday and Saturday, 3-10. I met [guitar dude] at the Bucket. He said he'd call me Tuesday or Wednesday to see if we can get together on Wednesday.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, July 22, 1984

Song of the day: Don't Stop Running - Y&T

Didn't do a heckuva lot today. Slept in, took garbage. Went to the Bucket with Mom. Washed clothes. That's all, folks.

- The Barbarian

Monday, July 23, 1984

Song of the day: Lack of Communication - Ratt

Boring day. I went to work at 3. That was real fun.

I got my hair cut this morning. It looks pretty good.

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, July 24, 1984

Song of the day: Panama - Van Halen

Top 5 at Five
1. Still Loving You - Scorpions
2. The Warrior - Scandal
3. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
4. Bobbie Jean - Bruce Springsteen
5. Missing You - John Waite

You thought yesterday was boring: Sheesh! I was totally listless all day. I didn't do a thing.

My bed arrived today. I had to push it against the wall so I don't fall off it at night.

Mom decided to order some pictures after all. I haveta go to Mark Lawrence at 11:15 tomorrow.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, July 25, 1984

Song of the day: Sign of the Times - Quiet Riot

I took Mom to work, then I put $30 in the bank, giving me $190 total. I picked up Dad's pictures, none of which developed. Then I went to Mark Lawrence and settled that business. I get the pictures in a month. When I got home, I found out that [guitar dude] had called. I called him back and he said we could practice today. I went over around 11:45. We went to [drummer dude]'s house, where we wasted an hour because he was arguing with some burnout in the john! Then he had to get a haircut. While he was gone, [guitar dude] taught me the riff of "Rock You Like a Hurricane." We were working on a new song but we didn't get much done.

JP called around 5 for me to pick up Mom.

[Guitar dude] let me use his strap. I gotta get a new cord, mine sucks.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Vacation week. So, the band thing. It was fun while it lasted, but like my girlfriends at the time, it didn't last long. I tracked down the drummer on Facebook a few years ago; sadly, the guitarist died in '92, but that's all I know about that. I remember he had a bitchin' Ibanez Explorer and was a good lead player. I wish I had kept up with the guitar and tried to form another band or something, but I didn't play in another band for another 15 years or so. 

The chick situation was growing increasingly lame; between her mom and her siblings, I couldn't get her alone to do any mackin'. Things were dissipating quickly.

We used to spend a lot of time at the beach back in those days. No worries about UV radiation or the like. We'd just like out for five or six hours checking out the hotties. Definitely fun times.

Don't remember learning the riff to "Lick It Up," but hey, it's not exactly challenging: