Through the Past Dorkily: Spellbound

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Saturday, November 3, 1984

Song of the day: Night of the Blade - Tokyo Blade

Whew! What a day! Mom woke me up at 9:30, which sucked. Then we were cleaning the house, so we didn't leave till 12. Then at 1, at Montgomery Ward, we had to wait there an hour while they were making credit card checks. I went to the Musicsmith and found that live Ozzy EP with Randy Rhoads on it. I bought it right away. We finally left at 3:15 and got home at 4:30.

Later, I found out from Jeremy that there was a big accident in front of our house just after we left. Two or three people died. They had the road blocked off till 4. Geez.

[Ex-gf]'s party was pretty good. First a bunch of us played Trivial Pursuit. [Female classmate] was my partner. What a babe! I flirted with her all night. She was even sitting on my lap. After that we played charades and before I knew it, it was 11. Everybody left then. It was almost a massive pile-up in the driveway. Somehow, everybody got out unscathed.

I had to put my TV in Mom's room.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, November 4, 1984

Song of the day: Mean Streak - Deep Purple

I got up at 8:30. We went to church. [A buddy] was there. I agreed to go to the youth group next Sunday. Wednesday the 14th is when we get confirmed.

I dumped the garbage. When I got back, I found out [ex-gf] called me. She wanted me to get her bumper sticker back from [guitar dude]'s house. I told her I couldn't go today. She's pissed at him because he never called her. Good.

The rest of the day I worked on the computer. Cool!

- The Barbarian

Monday, November 5, 1984

Song of the day: Our Love - Krokus

Top 5 at Five
 1. Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2
2. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
3. I Can't Hold Back - Survivor
4. Jailbreak - AC/DC
5. The Boys of Summer - Don Henley
 
Not a bad day. We left on our Journalism field trip right after homeroom. Me and [buddy] got stuck with [four female classmates] in his car. You can imagine how much fun that was. It rained all day.

On the radio we heard that U2 tickets sold out in 35 minutes. Wow!

The offices of Teenage are located in a dump! The place is an old warehouse. It's all beat up and there's trash all around it. Then we talked with the magazine's editorial staff on how to improve the mag, etc. Nancy Rutter is a babe! We were there till 12, and then we went to Methuen Mall for lunch. [A buddy] got Kinks tickets at Midland. I bought a couple of rock mags. We got back to the school at 1:30. After school I took $500 out of the bank and gave it to Dad.

Later, I called [ex-gf]. I don't really know why, I just did. Just to talk. Hmm.

- The Barbarian 

Tuesday, November 6, 1984

Song of the day: I Do' Wanna Know- REO Speedwagon

Top 5 at Five
1. Elected - Alice Cooper
2. Baba O'Reilly (live) - The Who
3. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
4. Understanding - Bob Seger
5. Perfect Strangers - Deep Purple

Not a bad day at all. I got a 90 on the Field Bio test. We had a sub in Adv Math. I had a nice nap in Psych. And I finally, with [a buddy]'s help, have my program about done. Good thing, too, 'cause it's due tomorrow. I just have to go in first period and iron out all the bugs and then I'm done! Finally! Thank God.

I got those 3 assignments done for Adv Math. Bargain!

I saw the new Purple album at Midland yesterday. Gotta get it.

Reagan's winning by a landslide. I coulda toldja that.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, November 7, 1984

Song of the day: The Boys of Summer - Don Henley

Top 5 at Five
1. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
2. Understanding - Bob Seger
3. Jailbreak (live) - AC/DC
4. We Belong - Pat Benatar
5. Missed it

What a day! I finally picked up an Achievement test booklet. I did the Adv Math chapter test done in class, so now I did all my assignments.

Big Adv Math and Psychology tests tomorrow. I need A's on both.

I had to stay after a few minutes to get my program done. [Buddy] did the last part. But it works! I left it on [teacher's] desk. I got outta there at 2:15. Jeremy waited and looked for me and then left. I was stranded. I tried to bum a ride off someone but couldn't. I walked to the pharmacy and got a new Kingstonian. We're still in it.

I walked back to the school, bummed a dime off [French teacher] and called first Jeremy's house, then [his girlfriend's]. He just pulled in. I talked him into picking me up. Phew!

Dad got a cake at work and then went out and got sloshed. When he got home, we gave him his presents and cake, he was all happy, he fell asleep.

So much for that day.

- The Barbarian

Thursday, November 8, 1984

Song of the day: Stranger in Town - Toto

Top 5 at Five
1. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
2. Valotte - Julian Lennon
3. Run to You - Bryan Adams
4. The Boys of Summer - Don Henley
5. Break Down the Walls - Stone Fury

Weird day. The Adv Math test sucked! I didn't get the last question (which I knew) done before the bell rang. I also skipped no. 2 and was gonna come back to it. So much for that. Damn!

On the Psychology test, I managed to do all the questions on it. About 50% of it is BS! I hope I get an A.

I got an A- on the program. Tomorrow we have a quiz in which we have to explain the entire program. That'll be fun.

I stayed after school to meet with the Journalism kids from Raymond, but they postponed it till next Tuesday. [Buddy] gave me a ride home.

Dad said we're gonna drive to Toronto for Thanksgiving. We're leaving on the 21st. Cool.

- The Barbarian

Friday, November 9, 1984

Song of the day: Jailbreak - AC/DC

Top 5 at Five
1. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
2. Jailbreak -  AC/DC
3. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
4. Perfect Strangers - Deep Purple
5. Run to You - Bryan Adams

Today was so-so. I got a 90 on the mouse care and a 78 on the log book. I got a 94 on the Psych test. Now the bad news: I got a 52 on the Adv Math test! I can't believe it! Everybody did bad. I brought it up to a 72 (I hope) with some extra credit questions.

As editor of the Sanborn Supplement this week, I managed to get all the stories together and off to Exeter. Man, [two classmates] don't do anything! It took them two days to type five papers! Now that's ridiculous!

Long weekend, here I come! No homework. Bargain.

I went to the mall with Jeremy [and his girlfriend] at 5:45. I got back at 7.

- The Barbarian

Saturday, November 10, 1984

Song of the day: How Many More Times - Led Zeppelin

So-so day. We went to get the storm windows and then went to Shaw's. That was fun.

That was it.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, November 11, 1984

Song of the day: Crazy Doctor - Loudness

We all slept in this morning. After I dumped the garbage, we all went to Newington to return the printer. I got a new pair of shoes: gray Nikes. Cool.

It rained like crazy all day.

At 7, we went to the youth group. It was alright. I came just in time for a humdingo fundraiser. We all took a big case of light bulbs home to sell. Great. Who am I gonna sell 'em to?

That girl [redacted] is pretty nice. I think she likes me. Then again, you never know.

I hope Rainbow Records is open tomorrow.

- The Barbarian

Monday, November 12, 1984

Song of the day: King of Twilight - Iron Maiden

Top 5 at Five
1. Perfect Strangers - Deep Purple
2. Run to You - Bryan Adams
3. Still in Saigon - Charlie Daniels Band
4. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
5. Concealed Weapons - J. Geils Band

I got up at 5:45 and took Mom to work. I came back and went to bed. I got up again at 10:30. The stores opened at 1, so at 1:50, me and JP went to Rainbow Records. When we left, it was sunny, when we got there it was raining. I got the new "Aces High" 12-inch. It's got an unreleased track "King of Twilight" and a live version of "Number of the Beast" on the B-side. Good Maiden metal. I got the latest Kerrang.

We got lost on the way home, but we backtracked and made it back alright.

I got 4 applications finished.

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, November 13, 1984

Song of the day: If I Had a Rocket Launcher - Bruce Cockburn

Top 5 at Five
1. Missed it
2. I Can't Hold Back - Survivor
3. Concealed Weapons - J. Geils Band
4. The Boys of Summer - Don Henley
5. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers

Today wasn't that great. I found out some grades. 85 in Field Biology, 80 in Adv Math, an  A in Psychology. I hope I have an A in Journalism and I hope I pulled a B in Comp Sci. So much for my number one ranking.

Captain Howdy died over the weekend. We found her dead in a can outside the cage this morning. Weird. We're starting photography now.

I was talking with [yet another cute girl] today. I asked her if she went out with [a classmate] Friday. She said no. I'm toying with the possibility. I don't know.

The Sanborn Supplement is going to be an insert in the Carriage Town News in 3 weeks.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, November 14, 1984

Song of the day: Diamond Field - Pat Benatar

Top 5 at Five
1. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
2. Run to You - Bryan Adams
3. We Belong - Pat Benatar
4. The Boys of Summer - Don Henley
5. Stranger in Town - Toto

Today was a bit better. I got a 90 in Psychology and a 92 in Journalism. I got an 82 on that Computers quiz.

After school, me and JP went to that confirmation meeting. [Some dude] was there, too. We talked about confirmation, Mormons and Tolkien. I couldn't believe [the reverend] knew so much about Tolkien. That was cool.

I need a woman.

- The Barbarian

Thursday, November 15, 1984

Song of the day: Spellbound - Triumph 

Top 5 at Five
1. Run to You - Bryan Adams
2. Too Late for Goodbyes - Julian Lennon
3. I Can't Hold Back - Survivor
4. Jailbreak - AC/DC
5. Call to the Heart - Giuffria

You heard me right! I heard a new Triumph song on  WAAF today, "Spellbound." It kicks, man! Great solo! Gil Moore sings lead on it. I can't wait for the album! It's supposed to be called Thunder 7, at least that's what Rob Barnett said. Awesome!

[Female classmate] is gonna give me a ride to the surprise party for [another female classmate] tomorrow. I got permission from Mom and Dad.

I'm almost done my fifth program. Bargain.

Mom's patient today was [a buddy]'s mom. Wow.

I still need a woman.

- The Barbarian

Friday, November 16, 1984

Song of the day: Word of Mouth - The Kinks

Another mixed-bag day. I got my program finished and I got an A on it. Bad news: I got my report card. I got a 74 in Computers. That gave me an 84 average, just barely making honors. That sucks!

Jeremy and me gave [three female classmates, including a super-hot one] a ride home today. When I was helping [the super-hot one] with her 3 zillion books, I saw one that had "I love Jay Kumar" scrawled on it. Could it be? Nah...

I got [birthday girl] a card from the pharmacy. She got a kick out of it. All I'll say is that it had something to do with a blimp and it had a balloon inside.

[Female classmate] picked me up at 7:15. When we got there, [birthday girl] still wasn't there. There was a bunch of people I knew. They had a humungo keg and some punch which had some lethal ingredients (champagne,vodka, tequila). I had 2 cups. [Birthday girl] was surprised. [Her boyfriend] was being a goof. I met this wicked nice girl, [redacted], a friend of [a classmate]. What a babe! I think she liked me. She's hot!

[The birthday girl's boyfriend's] house is a mess! There's cake and beer and champagne and M+Ms and God knows what else all over the place. I'm glad I don't live there!

- The Barbarian

Saturday, November 17, 1984

Song of the day: Ride the Lightning - Metallica

I got up at 11:30. Bummed around the house till 2. Then I got my hair cut. It's short but it looks cool. [Female classmate] was there.

After that, I didn't do a helluva lot.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Man, I remember struggling with the programs we had to write in that stupid Computer Science class. If only we knew then that 30 years later nobody would even think about that basic-ass shit. But yeah, that 74 did indeed screw up my shot at valedictorian. I would end up as the salutatorian, which is the #2 student in the class by only two points. Not that it's had much of an impact on my life since then. At the time, it was a bummer, though.

Also 29 years later, I'm still editing articles and getting publications ready on deadline, so that was a glimpse into the future, I suppose. 

I couldn't find any information about Teenage magazine, but I'm pretty sure that editor I mentioned as being hot went on to a pretty good career as a reporter for Forbes and later landed $125 million in a divorce from her billionaire husband. Not too shabby.

That surprise party was probably the first real drinking party I ever went to. I'm amazed I didn't puke after drinking that death punch; it must have been pretty watered down. About 18 months later, I was getting sick from booze on the regular at UNH.

And yeah, I loved me some Triumph in those days. Stemming back to my Canadian youth and the killer guitar skills of Rik Emmett, they were one of my favorite bands. Never saw this video back in the day, but it's got all the classic '80s hard rock video tropes: