Through the Past Dorkily: Girls With Guns

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Wednesday, October 17, 1984

Song of the day: Ride With You - Blackfoot

Easy day. I only had 1 class. The assembly was pretty good. The speaker was one funny dude!

We had a pop quiz in Adv Math and I got it all right.

I got home at 12 and bummed around till 3. [Buddy] gave me a ride to practice. Coach worked our butts off in our last practice.

- The Barbarian

Thursday, October 18, 1984

Song of the day: Lap of Luxury - Jethro Tull

Good day. The Psych test was easy. I hope I get an A. I got an A on my fourth program.

We had our last hurrah today. We beat the crap out of Somersworth, 8-1. I played most of the game but I didn't score, dammit! [Teammate] got a hat trick, [another guy] got 2, [another guy] got 2 and [yet another guy] scored the last one. [Another teammate] had like 20 shots, all close but no cigar. At least we went out with a bang!

- The Barbarian

Friday, October 19, 1984

Song of the day: Closer to the Heart - Rush

Fast day. I got up at 8:30, took Mom to work. I went to the Methuen Mall at 11. I spent $60! I bought 3 albums, Dokken--Tooth and Nail, Santers--Guitar Alley and Anvil--Hard and Heavy. I bought 1 blank 60-min tape and 2 90-min Maxell tapes. I also got the last 2 Thomas Covenant books. I bought a book of stamps. I met Jeremy and his girlfriend there, too. I got home at 2.

We went to see "Thief of Hearts." It's a good flick.

- The Barbarian

Saturday, October 20, 1984

Song of the day: Eruption - Van Halen

Strange day. I got up at 10. Went to work. the work was beat. We got out at 10. [Girl I like] sat with me in my car for a while. We put the seats back and started making out. It just sorta happened, y'know? I got home at 10:45. Phew!

- The Barbarian

Sunday, October 21, 1984

Song of the day: Can You Deliver? - Armoured Saint

Today sucked. I was doing price changes all day. I went home for lunch. Both Mom and Dad started bitching at me and want me to quit tomorrow. I told Mom to call up and tell 'em herself. They don't want me working during school. Now that's beat.

[Cute nerdy girl] came to the Bucket. She said she'll give me a ride home tomorrow. Yeah!

- The Barbarian

Monday, October 22, 1984

Song of the day: Break the Walls Down - Stone Fury

Today was alright. I got a 94 on that Psych test, a 100 and a 49 on 2 different Adv Math quizzes.

[CNG] gave me a ride home. But she had to go to the dentist so all I got was a hug and a kiss. Maybe tomorrow.

I taped Powerslave, Defenders of the Faith and 1984 after school.

Mom called up the Bucket and told them I quit.

- The (unemployed) Barbarian

Tuesday, October 23, 1984

Song of the day: Devil in Her Heart - Gary Moore

Top 5 at Five
1. Jailbreak (live) - AC/DC
2. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
3. I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister
4. Concealed Weapons - J. Geils Band
5. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers

Not much doing today. Day went by fast.

I taped The Last in Line and Victims of the Future when I got home.

I turned in my jacket and stamper today. Jeremy quit, too. I met [hot chick] there. We talked for about 40 minutes. She really likes me.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, October 24, 1984

Song of the day: Jawbreaker - Judas Priest

Top 5 at Five
1. I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister
2. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
3. Valotte - Julian Lennon
4. Cheap Sunglasses (live) - ZZ Top
5. I Got a Woman - The Honeydrippers

It rained. The field trip was pretty good. We censused geese and ducks, went through marshes and trails and took a plankton sample. I got a soaker while getting the sample.

After school tomorrow, Jeremy and I are going straight to the Bucket to get our checks and then to the Methuen Mall so I can pick up a costume for the dance. Excellent.

- The Barbarian

Thursday, October 25, 1984

Song of the day: Satisfied Man - Molly Hatchet

Top 5 at Five
1. Valotte - Julian Lennon
2. I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister
3. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
4. Tender Years - John Cafferty and Beaver Brown
5. Run to You - Bryan Adams

Today was a pretty good day. We were measured for our caps and gowns today. I'm still 5' 6 1/2". There's a Psych essay test tomorrow. Great.

After school, I got my check for $75. We went to the mall and I got that Bandit costume. It cost $21, the cape cost $12.98 and the sword cost $2.98. All together, $40. Oh well. I tried it on. It looks cool!

- The Barbarian

Friday, October 26, 1984

Song of the day: Perfect Strangers - Deep Purple

Top 5 at Five
1. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
2. Valotte - Julian Lennon
3. Run to You - Bryan Adams
4. Tender Years - John Cafferty and Beaver Brown
5. I Wanna Rock - Twisted Sister

Half and half day. I hope I did good on that Psych test.

Deep Purple's new album came out today, Perfect Strangers. I heard the title track. It wails!

The dance was pretty good. I danced with a lot of babes. [CNG] practically ignored me. She danced with me once, but the rest of the night she didn't come near. I'm pissed! I'm considering dumping her. I don't know...

- The Barbarian

Saturday, October 27, 1984

Song of the day: Losfer Words (Big 'Orra) - Iron Maiden

Good day. We went to Salem to go shopping. First we looked at computers. Then we went to Kealey Farms. Right next door practically is Rainbow Records! I went there. It's awesome! They've got tons of imports, magazines and metal records. I bought the 12-inch of  Rush's "The Body Electric." On the flip side were "Analog Kid" and "Distant Early Warning." I also bought 2 issues of Kerrang!, one on Rush and one on Maiden. That store is great!

I returned the saline solution and bought a new one.

We set back the clocks an hour tonight. Good deal.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, October 28, 1984

Song of the day: The Song Remains the Same - Led Zeppelin

Today was alright. I went to church for the first time in a while. Later I took the garbage to the dump. On the way back, the guy in front of me slowed down alluva sudden. I locked 'em up (Dad's car) in front of Pond View, leaving a massive skid mark. Whew!

Then we went to the Newington Mall. I bought Dad a $25 pen and I am now broke. Mom got me a Sharp calculator and a cool looking winter jacket ($70). We looked at a Commodore computer. It was way cheaper. Dad says we're gonna get it! Alright! Only thing is, they're gonna hook it up to my TV. Oh well.

- The Barbarian

Monday, October 29, 1984

Song of the day: Run to You - Bryan Adams

Top 5 at Five
1. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
2. Aqualung - Jethro Tull
3. Perfect Strangers - Deep Purple
4. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
5. Run to You - Bryan Adams

Weird day. I got an 80 on that Pysch essay test. I drew a total blank on the Comp Sci quiz and got a 0. I couldn't believe it!

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, October 30, 1984

Song of the day: Red - Sammy Hagar

Top 5 at Five
1. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
2. Had a Dream - Roger Hodgson
3. I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar
4. Back Seat Nothing - The Del Fuegos
5. Concealed Weapons - J. Geils Band

Another weird day. I got an 85 on that field trip stuff from Field Biology. I found out that my mouse is a female! All this time I thought it was a dude! Geez.

I get to sleep in!

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, October 31, 1984

Song of the day: Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath

Top 5 at Five
1. The Monster Mash - Bobby Pickett
2. Bark at the Moon - Ozzy Osbourne
3. Sympathy for the Devil - Rolling Stones
4. Don't Fear the Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
5. Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon

Halloween. I got up at 8. At 9 I went to see [optometrist]. He said that thing on my left contact is a calcium deposit. I have to get it replaced. Great.

I got to school at 9:40. My contact bugged me for the rest of the day.

- The Barbarian

Thursday, November 1, 1984

Song of the day: Knockin' at Your Back Door - Deep Purple

Top 5 at Five
1. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
2. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
3. Twist and Shout (live) - The Who
4. We Belong - Pat Benatar
5. Into the Fire - Dokken

Boring day for the most part. The sports banquet went till 9. [Coach] spoke the longest. I got a letter, a pin and a certificate. I looked cool in my sports coat, blue cords, tie and sneakers. Quite studly, indeed. Afterwards, me, [buddy] and Jeremy went to Pizza Hut. I asked Mom if I could go to the movies tomorrow and the _____ said no! I can't believe it. And with another one of her famous feeble excuses. "Well, you need to hear some 'no's' in your life." Give me a friggin' break, willya?

- The (P.O.'d) Barbarian

Friday, November 2, 1984

Song of the day: Substitute (live) - The Who

Top 5 at Five
1. Girls With Guns - Tommy Shaw
2. Sea of Love - The Honeydrippers
3. Twist and Shout (live) - The Who
4. Perfect Strangers - Deep Purple
5. I Can't Drive 55 - Sammy Hagar

Today was alright. Jeremy gave me some stuff to use on my program, but it didn't work out. [Teacher] gave us till sometime next week to get 'em done.

I think I got an A on the Field Bio test today. [Classmate] lost my story in Journalism.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Two weeks worth of entries and some interesting developments. My mom made me quit my job at Market Basket because she thought it was taking too much away from my studies. I like how I at least made her quit for me. Of course, the worst part was not having any income. 

A few encounters with girls. The most promising ones were the girls who worked at Market Basket and of course, I wasn't going to be working there anymore so that sucked. I had always wondered what happened to that girl I made out with; did a little Internet research and I think she's married to a chick now. Which is cool, but she certainly seemed into me for a very brief time in 1984. 

Totally forgot that the Tommy Shaw song was so big on the radio. You certainly don't hear it anymore. Ever. And listening to it again, it's not hard to figure out why. It suck-diddly-ucks: