Through the Past Dorkily: Rock Me Tonite

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Friday, June 22, 1984

Song of the day: I Don't Know - Ozzy Osbourne

I got up at 9:30. I got some gas for the lawn mower. I filled the tank and everything and I mowed half the big lawn when the engine started smoking. I figured it was overheated so I took it in. Then I took a shower. Wow.

At 3 I went to work. Me and [buddy] had the same lunch so I took him to Dairy Queen. He paid. We got out at 10:30. He and [friend] met me at McDonald's. He bought me some grub and then took first [girl], then [buddy] home. I got home at 11:30.

I still don't know if [cute girl] can go to the movies tomorrow night. I couldn't get ahold of Jeremy (what else is new?) today so I'll haveta see tomorrow after work. I sure hope she can come!

- The Barbarian

Saturday, June 23, 1984

Song of the day: Ghostbusters - Ray Parker, Jr.

Whew! What a day. I got up at 6, showered, shaved and went to work. I got a 1-hour lunch break at 12, so I came home for lunch. Mom and JP went to see Indiana Jones. I got out of work at 4.

I called Jeremy. [Cute girl] couldn't got the movies, but his cousin went instead. We got there early. We saw [female classmate] there. Ghostbusters was awesome! Wicked funny! Rick Moranis was awesome (so was Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and Sig Weaver, what a babe!).

The scary part was when we were leaving the parking lot. A car beside us was blocking the view. Jeremy thought it was OK so I went out. A car was heading straight for us! Fortunately we got out of the way in time! I almost died! Man, that was close.

Thank God we got out okay.

We went to [Jeremy's girlfriend's] house and watched MTV till 10:45 and then I dropped [his cousin] and Jeremy off. I got home just before 11. In one piece.

I have to work Sun 12-6, Tues, Thurs and Fri 3-10 and Sat 7-4. I'm gonna try and get Tuesday off.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, June 24, 1984

Song of the day: Voodoo Child (Slight Return) - Stevie Ray Vaughan

Man, am I tired. I got up at 8:30. We went to church, then I dumped the trash and went to work at 12. Just before my lunch, I ripped my pants in the back room. My brown cords. That sucks. I went home for lunch and changed. I didn't get home til 8:10. Mom and Dad were pissed! They said I should've called 'em or something. Gimme a break.

Jeremy called right after that. The weather tomorrow stinks. It's supposed to rain. Me, I'm just gonna veg all day. Anyhoo, Jeremy said that his girlfriend thinks I should ask [cute girl] out, too. Fine, if I ever get to see her! She's a babe.

Jeremy said somewhere around July the 4th he'd have the house to himself. He said he'd have a small party with me and [cute girl] there along with him and his girlfriend. Sounds good to me.

- The Barbarian

Monday, June 25, 1984

Song of the day:  Wanted Man - Ratt

Top 5 at Five

1. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
2. Round and Round - Ratt
3. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
4. Back Where I Started - Box of Frogs
5. Voices - Russ Ballard

Some awesome concert info! Cheap Trick, Ratt (!) and Twisted Sister are playing the Kingston Carnival grounds on July 14th! I heard it on WAAF, of all places! I called Ticketron and tickets are $15.50. Tomorrow I'm going to the Methuen Mall to get one. Jeremy's coming with me.

I got up at 12 today. Good night's sleep.

I called the Bucket. [Supervisor] wasn't there but [another higher up] said I could come in at 6.

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, June 26, 1984

Song of the day: Coming Home - Scorpions

Top 5 at Five

1. School's Out - Alice Cooper
2. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
5. Voices - Russ Ballard

Busy morning. I dropped Mom and JP off at the hospital and his friend's house. Then I got $20 out of the bank, registered a letter at the post office and bought a quart of milk. Then I picked up Jeremy and his girlfriend and went to the Mall. I got a ticket to the concert and the new Scorpions album. We saw a guy we knew there and Jeremy purchased some more [items] from CVS. Ha!

I got home around 12. I called in sick and didn't go to work. [Guitar instructor] called and said that guitar lessons are stopped until September.

I found out that Lita Ford and the Lines are the other 2 bands playing that concert on the 14th. Great! Lita Ford's a babe and she can play guitar! It's gonna kick!

I called [cute girl] and she said she might have some people over for a pool party tomorrow. Great! She's a babe.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, June 27, 1984

Song of the day: We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions - Queen

Top 5 at Five

1. Round and Round - Ratt
2. Missing You - John Waite
3. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
4. Drive - The Cars
5. Rock Me Tonite - Billy Squier

I got up at 9, showered and had breakfast. I taped Grace Under Pressure and tomorrow I'm taping Animal Grace by April Wine.

Jeremy called around 11:15 and said [cute girl] was having the pool party. I left at 11:45 for Timberlane on my bike. Around 12 I met Jeremy there and his girlfriend, him and me headed for [cute girl's] house. Man, she lives way the heck out there! There were hills everywhere! Anyhoo, we got there around 12:45. We swam for a while, played badminton and swam some more. [Cute girl] was looking good! She was popping out of her swimsuit, if you know what I mean! What a babe!


-  The Barbarian

Thursday, June 28, 1984

Song of the day: Rock Tonite - April Wine

I took Mom to work this morning. Then I taped Animal Grace. After that, I picked up my paycheck. I got $112 and change. I put $50 in the bank and I bought a money order for $22.94 so I could finally pay my Columbia House bill. Tomorrow I'm gonna pay off my RCA bill. I have $120.20 in my account now.

I was working with [rocker dude] for a while tonight. I gave him my phone number. He said he'll call me tomorrow so we can get together and he'll teach me rhythm guitar.

[Dude] was closing tonight and he let us out at 10:20. Good deal.

- The Barbarian

Friday, June 29, 1984

Song of the day: Sunglasses at Night - Corey Hart

I took Mom to work. On the way back I bought a money order for $11.56 to pay off my RCA bill. Then I bought a book of stamps. When I got home, I used an extra order form to order 3 more albums form Columbia to complete my agreement:  Dio - Holy Diver, Michael Schenker - MSG, Accept - Balls to the Wall.

I got the results of my SAT - I kicked butt! I got 620 on Verbal, 610 on Math. I finished in the 90s in percentiles. Awesome!

- The Barbarian    

Postscript: Things were slowly picking up with my buddy's girlfriend's cute friend. At least I had the good sense not to get my hopes up too high.

Ah, the days when $120 in the bank was a lot of money. Of course, there were stretches in college when I would have killed to have that much money at my disposal.

It's kinda crazy that the Kingston Fairgrounds would host a concert of the magnitude of the one I was about to attend. This would be my first rock concert and even though Cheap Trick wasn't at the peak of their powers, they were still one of my favorite bands, and Ratt and Twisted Sister were on the rise and growing in popularity by the day. And the ticket cost $15.50! The modern day equivalent would be about $75.

I was so pleased with my SAT scores. Of course, my brother was shooting for 800s on each test and took the SATs a few times to try and get there. I never even considered taking them again; I probably could have done a little better. But I think he ended up with 780/760. And that's why he went to an Ivy League school and I went to a state school.

Billy Squier's "Rock Me Tonite" had just come out on the radio and it sounded like a Squier song, which was a good thing in my book. Of course, when the video hit MTV, it basically killed the poor guy's career:





 

Completely Conspicuous 284: Perfect Situation

Part 2 of my conversation with guest Ric Dube as we present our ideas for rebooting classic sitcoms. Listen to the episode below or download it directly (right click and "save as").


Show notes:
- Recorded at More Lost Time world HQ
- Jay: Movie reboot of Laverne and Shirley starring Emma Stone and Ellen Page
- Set at a Seattle microbrewery
- AV Club's Random Roles feature is terrific
- Ric: Sets Happy Days in 1991 Seattle, called Dazed and Abused
- Jason Everman's strange trip
- Let it go, Dave Mustaine
- Jay: Bosom Buddies reimagined with dudes dressing as women in drag
- Ric's take on Hangover 3
- Dueling Mork and Mindy remakes
- Ric: Get Robin Williams to play older Mork
- Jay: Alien lands in Portland, followed around by documentary crew
- What the hell is the Modern Family documentary about?
- Arnold does great commentary tracks
- Ric: Leave It to Cheever
- Partridge Family reboot with the Kardashians
- The new Jay Leno Show
- Ric still wants to make the reality show Blue Balls
- Bonehead of the Week


Music:
METZ - Can't Understand
Majical Cloudz - Bugs Don't Buzz
Speedy Ortiz - No Below
Murray A. Lightburn - Motherfuckers  

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The METZ song is part of the Adult Swim Singles Series. Download the song for free at Stereogum.
The Majical Cloudz song is on the album Impersonator on Matador Records. Download the song for free at Chromewaves.
The Speedy Ortiz song is on the album Major Arcana on Carpark Records. Download the song for free at Stereogum.
The Murray A. Lightburn song is on the album Mass: Light. Download the song for free at Chromewaves.  

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Through the Past Dorkily: School's Out

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.
 
Saturday, June 16, 1984

Song of the day: I've Got the Six - ZZ Top

Cashed my check today. Then we went to the Methuen Mall. I bought Ratt's "Out of the Cellar" and some shorts for Father's Day. Went to work at 3. Got out at 10:30.

I'm tired.

Working tomorrow 12-6.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, June 17, 1984

Song of the day: Mama Weer All Crazee Now - Quiet Riot


Got up at 9:30. Took the garbage to the dump and went to work. We were there til 7:30! That sucks.

I'm working Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 3-10. Saturday I'm working 7-4. That means we can go to the movies that night. Good deal. Can't wait!

A girl called for me while I was at work. She didn't leave her name or a message so I have no idea who it was. I wonder who it was?

[Buddy] said he'd teach me how to play rhythm guitar because he needs a rhythm player for his band. I said sure. What the heck!

Don't know how I'm getting to work tomorrow. Geez.

- The Barbarian

Monday, June 18, 1984

Song of the day: I'm Leaving You - Scorpions


I had to take the bus to arena scheduling. I was the only high school kid on the bus. When I got there, nobody was there, almost. [A friend] were there. He's working at McDonald's at Hampton Beach. Lucky fart!

When I got in, I just got my P.E. (floor hockey) and got out. My schedule is awesome! I have first period free all year, 2nd period free for the second semester and 7th period free for the 1st, 3rd and 4th terms. The most classes I have at one time is 6, in 2nd term. [Two cute female friends] have 1st period free all year too. Me, [and two other cute girls] are in the same Adv. Math class. It'll be great!

[Cute girl] gave me and Jeremy a ride home around 10. I slept for a while and then [different cute girl] gave me a ride to work. Mom brought the car to the Bucket. I didn't get out till 11. Finally, tomorrow I get a day off!

- The (tired) Barbarian

Tuesday, June 19, 1984

Song of the day: Mama Weer All Crazee Now - Mama's Boys

Top 5 at Five
1. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
2. Round and Round - Ratt
3. Missing You - John Waite
4. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
5. Voices - Russ Ballard

Class day today. I got a 91 for the 4th term and an 88 for the semester in Civics. I also found out that I only had 4 3/4 credits on my schedule. [Vice principal] said to call back in August and they'll get me in a half-year class. Too good to be true, I guess.

I waited in line (and cut in front of 50 people) and I still didn't get a yearbook. They ran out of extras right before I got to the front. There's supposed to be more tomorrow.

I got home at 12 and got some rest. I'm gonna need it.

- The Barbarian

Wednesday, June 20, 1984

Song of the day: Even the Losers - Tom Petty


Today was the last full day of school. I spent most of it signing yearbooks. I couldn't get one myself because they had no more extras. Oh well.

In Civics we saw the videotape from last week. It was hilarious!

In Geometry, I got 87 for the term. In Bi Sci I got an 80. In Prep for College I got a 77 and in French I got an 81. That sucks! I hope I got an A in Algebra.

They put a picture of me on the sophomore page of the yearbook. Dorks!

[Buddy] got himself a Mr. Happy sleeping bag for Saturday. Looks like he's gonna go for it!

Tomorrow I have to pick up my paycheck and then get my senior portrait taken. I hope it turns out good.

- The Barbarian

Thursday, June 21, 1984

Song of the day: School's Out - Alice Cooper


Top 5 at Five
1. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
2. Round and Round - Ratt
3. Slow an' Easy - Whitesnake
4. Back Where I Started - Box of Frogs
5. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister

Boy, what a day. I started it off by dropping my shades in the driveway, breaking them. Damn! Then, at school, I got bagged for wearing shorts and I had to sit in the office for 2 hours. Not fun.


Then I went for my senior portrait. I passed by the place and had to turn around in the next town. I finally found it and had to wait half an hour to get the photos taken.

I then had to pick Mom up from work.

Oh yeah, I got my paycheck. $78.30. Well, it was $92.96 but taxes ate it up. I put $50 in the bank.

- The Barbarian

Postscript:  School was over, but I was working a ton. And for someone who wasn't used to being on his feet for seven or eight hours straight, it was pretty tiring. But had to make some cash. It was amazing what I could get by on back then, but of course I didn't have to pay for room and board. 

That whole thing with the shorts was pretty stupid. I had no idea you couldn't wear shorts to school, and I couldn't understand why on the last day of school it was such a big deal. Not to mention the fact that girls could wear mini-skirts that were way shorter than my shorts. 

I was hoping to find my senior portrait to scan in, but no such luck. 

Kinda funny that Slade's "Mama Weer All Crazee Now" was covered by two different bands in consecutive years:


 

Completely Conspicuous 283: Everything Old is New Again

Part 1 of my conversation with guest Ric Dube as we present our ideas for rebooting classic sitcoms. Listen to the episode below or download it directly (right click and "save as").

Show notes:
- Recorded at More Lost Time world HQ
- Ric beats a cybersquatter at his own game
- Ric wants to reboot American Idol
- "Celebrity Barrel Jumping"
- Tom Scholz of the band Boston is into "freestyle figure skating"
- Ric: Judges would be voted off each season by fans
- Show would have weekly winner like Jeopardy
- Chuck Barris was talent show pioneer with The Gong Show
- Jay: Reimagined take on Sanford and Son starring Indian father and son convenience store owners
- Stretch of minority-themed sitcoms in the '70s
- UPN network had several black sitcoms in the '90s
- The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer was comedic look at slavery
- All in the Family could never air today; people are too sensitive
- The late '60s scourge of "interracial touching"
- Recent Cheerios commercial with interracial family drew racist complaints
- Racial sensitivity in the workplace
- Ric: Reboot of The Bob Newhart Show, set in a nursing home
- Original Newhart show is a comedy classic
- Wondering how Northern Exposure has aged
- Newhart's breakthrough comedy album was recorded live
- Jay: Modern take on Chico and the Man would touch on immigration debate
- How funny was Freddie Prinze?
- Ric: Simpsons 2800 AD would combine elements of ghost-chasing cartoons
- New Scooby Doo Mystery Incorporated show looks interesting
- To be continued
- Bonehead of the Week


Music:
Speedy Ortiz - Tiger Tank
Hunx and His Punx - Bad Skin
Moon King - Only Child
Mikal Cronin - Get Along

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The Speedy Ortiz song is on the album Major Arcana on Carpark Records. Download the song for free at Stereogum.
The Hunx and His Punx song is on the album Street Punk on Hardly Art. Download it for free at Hardly Art.
The Moon King song is on the EP Obsession 1 on One Big Silence. Download it for free at Chromewaves.
The Mikal Cronin song is on his self-titled album on Trouble in Mind Records. Download it for free at Chromewaves.

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Through the Past Dorkily: State of Shock

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Saturday, June 9, 1984

Song of the day: The Weapon - Rush

Not much happened today. Boy, it was hot!

I finally got some good shoes for work. I felt 100% better in them. Next week I work Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, 3-10 each day.

I met [cute girl from party] while I was working. We talked for a while. Jeremy said that he, his girlfriend and [cute girl from party] were going to the movies on June 22, and I was invited (if I had the car). I said sure but I hope I'm not working! I think she likes me. She's pretty nice.

[Classmate] (from French, I can't spell her last name) works at the Bucket, too.

- The Barbarian

Sunday, June 10, 1984

Song of day: Afterimage - Rush

Another sticky day, fellah. Mom slept in so we didn't go to church. I mowed the lawn and nearly sweated to death!

I did my homework and then waited till 9 for the Rush special on WAAF. I taped over the Sabbath concert I taped last year. It went over so I also used the BASF that I taped (badly) some Who albums on. The special was great!

Nighty-night.

- The Barbarian

Monday, June 11, 1984

Song of the day: The Original Sin - INXS

Another hot one.

Took French quiz, I think I did good. I got a 73 on the How to Study quiz! Yah!

Mom let me take the car to work. Got my punch card, name tag today. Went to Dairy Queen for dinner. Got stuck there till 10:30. Sheesh!

Toodaloo.

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, June 12, 1984

Song of the day: Born in the USA - Bruce Springsteen

Top 5 at Five
1. Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions
2. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. Legs - ZZ Top
5. Wouldn't It Be Good - Nik Kershaw

Today wasn't that great. [Teacher] moved me to the front because I dropped my pencil (You explain it!). I bombed the Algebra quiz. I just choked!

I had the day off so I took a nap. Wow.

- The (almost senior) Barbarian

Wednesday, June 13, 1984

Song of the day: State of Shock - The Jacksons (with Mick Jagger)

Today was so-so. I slept through Civics, goofed off through Geometry, and stumbled through the rest of the day. I got a 35 on that Alg. quiz. She didn't count it and we have a retake tomorrow.

I have to pick up my first paycheck tomorrow.

3 tests tomorrow.

Ugh, my feet hurt.

- The Barbarian

Thursday, June 14, 1984

Song of the day: High on Emotion - Chris Deburgh

Top 5 at Five
1. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
2. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. The Reflex - Duran Duran
5. The Ghost in You - Psychedelic Furs

Hmm. In Civics, we were videotaped. It was wild! We were throwing stuff, yelling, running around, it was great! We get to see it next week.

The Geometry final was weird. I did good on the Bi Sci test, and alright on the Algebra thing.

I got my paycheck today. It was for $49.44. They only paid me for 17 hours, instead of 20. [Supervisor] said he'd add it on to next week's check. Great!

Tomorrow's the last actual work day of this school year! Yah!

- The Barbarian

Friday, June 15, 1984

Song of the day: Tell Me - Fastway

Weird day. I aced the Civics final. 101 out of 105. Awesome. I also did the Geometry final. I got an 88 on the Bi Sci test and a 36 (no lie) on the retake in Algebra. Luckily, she's dropping the grade! I got notes at lunch and I completed the How to Study quiz (all except 2 questions). And my French report went pretty good.

Last day of school work! Yah!


Went to work. What a day! I spent half the day cleaning up messes and sweeping the floors. Sheesh.

After work, at 11 (store now closes at 10), [buddy] said he was going to Friendly's and asked me if I wanted to go. I said sure, but he had to drop someone off first. I followed them to Atkinson and then turned around so I wouldn't get lost. I went to Friendly's to meet 'em there but they never showed! I didn't have any money. [Classmate] was working. I bugged her. [Another buddy] was there with a couple of friends. [Two other classmates] showed up. I bummed a buck off one of them and bought a drink. [The other guy] was telling me how he got laid 3 times tonight. Great. I left about 11:50. Got home at midnight. Not bad.

I gotta cash my check.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: The school year is winding down, while the work schedule is ramping up. I forgot that for those 3-10 shifts, we never got a dinner break. I was eating a crap fast food dinner at 10 or 11. Can't even imagine doing that now. Also, gotta love that hefty first paycheck! I was getting paid minimum wage, which in 1984 was a robust $3.35/hour. How the hell did people live on that? I guess things cost a lot less back then, but still...

Man, I would love to see that Civics video with us in it. I don't remember what the point was; I think it was to show a worst-case classroom scenario so we were encouraged to act like idiots. Not sure. Still, would be interesting to see that now.

In that situation where I was following a buddy and then got lost, nowadays it'd be easy to just call or text the person to say I'd meet them at Friendly's. Back then, you had no way to reach somebody except via payphone or landline. Cracks me up that I went to this restaurant with absolutely no money in my wallet. Man.

 

  

Completely Conspicuous 282: Lost Causes

Part 2 of my conversation with guest Brian Lewandowski as we discuss our status as outsider sports fans in the Boston area. Listen to the episode below or download it directly (right click and "save as").

Show notes:
- Recorded on a sweaty night in Beverly, Mass.
- Boston went from Loserville to Titletown
- The legend of Wayne Gretzky started when he was a kid
- Jay: Rooted for the Patriots when they were horrible
- Supporting our teams has been a mostly futile endeavor
- Jay: Reliving the Leafs' horrible choke against Boston
- Big sporting events somehow lead to idiots rioting
- NFL games are much more fun when you watch at home
- Jay: Still go to college hockey games
- Brian wept when his team won college lacrosse championship
- Jay: I want to see the Leafs win the Stanley Cup before I die
- Brian roots for New England Revolution
- Jay: Watching the Leafs in the playoffs is a tense, miserable experience
- Brian: Still hoping Sabres and Bills will win it all
- More "pink hat" fans in Boston
- Jay: I watch every Leafs game no matter how much they suck
- Find Brian's comedy dates and fun stuff at his website
- Bonehead of the Week


Music:
David Byrne and St. Vincent - Cissus
Overseas - Old Love
John Vanderslice - Raw Wood
Stephen Malkmus - The Hook

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The David Byrne and St. Vincent song is on the EP Brass Tactics. Download the song from Stereogum.
The Overseas song is on the band's self-titled album on Undertow Music Collective. Download the song for free at Chromewaves.
The John Vanderslice song is on the album Dagger Beach on Secretly Canadian. Download the song for free at Chromewaves.
The Stephen Malkmus song is on his self-titled album on Matador Records. Download the song for free at Epitonic.

The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Through the Past Dorkily: Working Man

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Sunday, June 3, 1984

Song of the day: Working Man - Rush

Well, I don't know what to do for an oral report in Civics. I'm dead.

We went to Methuen Mall where I got a blue blazer and 2 ties. That took till around 4. Then I had to mow the lawn. Fun. 

Hey! It was a beautiful day, sunny and in the '70s. This week is supposed to be wicked nice!

At the mall, I saw that girl from the party last night. She's the one we pretended to gang-bang! Now you remember, eh? Seriously, though, she's pretty nice.

Tomorrow's my first day at work. I hope everything goes alright.

- The Barbarian

Monday, June 4, 1984

Song of the day: No Surrender - Bruce Springsteen

Everybody cracked up at my Hawaiian shirt and etc. I got an 82 on Bi Sci test, 96 on Algebra test, 78 on my Vocab project, and a 95 on a French test.

Work went all right. My shoes suck, though. They're too dressy and uncomfortable. I work 3-7 tomorrow and Wednesday (damn) and 5-10 Saturday. Hope [cute girl]'s working tomorrow. I need a ride!

Today was wicked nice! Sun!

I watched the Toronto-Detroit game til midnight. Detroit won 6-3 in 10 innings. Stupid umpires!

- The Barbarian

Tuesday, June 5, 1984

Song of the day: She's Mine - Steve Perry

Man, I'm tired! I went to bed at 12:30 last night and got up at 5:30 to take a shower.

The school day went by pretty uneventfully. Everybody's psyched about tomorrow, including me!

Our driveway was paved today. It kicks!

[Cute girl] gave me a ride to work today. What a babe!

I'm taking [cute girl], Jeremy and [buddy] to the beach tomorrow. [Another buddy]'s getting a ride from [another guy]. Man, it's gonna be great.

The weather's supposed to be awesome!

I finally got those 2 issues of Guitar magazine I've been waiting for. One has Eddie VH on the cover and the other Randy Rhoads. Next month has Alex Lifeson!

I worked till close today. My dinner was 3 candy bars and a root beer. I got home at 10. Whew!

- The (tired) Barbarian

Wednesday, June 6, 1984

Song of the day: Sex and Drugs and Rock 'n Roll - Ian Dury and the Blockheads

What a day!

I left for Jeremy's at 9:45. Then we picked up [buddy]. Backing out of his drive, I almost had a heart attack when I hit this massive rock! Fortunately it only nicked the plastic fender part. Phew.

Then we picked up [cute girl] and went through Salisbury to the beach. We got there just before 11. It was packed! We parked in a motel parking lot for $2. I almost hit a car while parking. It took me 5 minutes to park it right.

When we got on the beach, it was beautiful. And the weather wasn't bad either! Man! Girls everywhere! There were Sanborn people everywhere! I think the whole school skipped (except two dorks). Wow! [Several attractive girls] and more. Thank God for mirrored sunglasses! It started getting cloudy around 12:30, though. We went to McDonald's and met [two hot classmates]. Gaga! Better boobs can't be found!! Incredible. It started getting chilly and we left around 1. That sucked. I wanted to stay till 2. Me, Jeremy and [buddy] left. [Cute chick] stayed and got a ride from [another classmate]. As it turns out, I got home at 2. I worked from 3-7 today. Ironic: [Dude possibly dating ex-gf] works at the Bucket, too. He's cool.

- The (beach) Barbarian

Thursday, June 7, 1984

Song of the day: The Mask - Roger Glover


Steamy day. In the 90s.

Believe it or not, I got a B on my oral report in Civics. It sucked! I would have given it a D! Well, I"m not complaining.

I was pretty tired today.

About half the school ( 250 or so) skipped yesterday! Awesome turnout!

I got home and collapsed on my bed for about 3 hours!

Later,

The Barbarian

Friday, June 8, 1984

Song of the day: We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister

Top 5 at Five
1. Life Sucks, Then You Die - The Fools
2. My Oh My - Slade
3. Round and Round - Ratt
4. We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
5. Little Lady - Duke Jupiter

Today was even hotter than yesterday. This weather leaves me kind of sluggish.

We made the paper! The Haverhill Gazette had a front page story about our skip day. I cracked up!

We got our prom pictures today. In one of them, I have my damn eyes closed. That sucks. The other one's alright, though.

Next week is finals. Ugh.

- The Barbarian

Postscript: Getting used to working at the Bucket. It was definitely a transition. I was going from a day that went from 6 a.m. to about 3 p.m. and extending that by another seven or eight hours on my feet doing manual labor. It was good, though. Got some cash in my pocket, made some friends and definitely got a little more of a work ethic. 

This first few months of driving definitely had some close calls like me driving into that stupid rock, but fortunately nothing remotely close to an accident. And this was before we had cell phones and other shit to distract us. It was just our own stupidity, as it was meant to be. 

 

Completely Conspicuous 281: The Outsiders

Part 1 of my conversation with guest Brian Lewandowski as we discuss our status as outsider sports fans in the Boston area. Listen to the episode below or download it directly (right click and "save as").



Show notes:
- Recorded on a sweaty night in Beverly, Mass.
- Brian changed his standup name to Brian Gerard
- Experimented with different names
- We both grew up elsewhere and moved to New England
- Rooting for non-Boston teams
- Brian grew up in Buffalo, is a big Sabres and Bills fan
- We're used to our teams losing
- Buffalo also had an NBA team in the '70s
- Brian moved to Kentucky as a kid
- Jay moved to southeastern Washington state
- Nobody there knew what hockey was at the time
- Jay: Right after we moved away, a junior hockey team moved to the area
- Jay: Never a fan of the Montreal Canadiens
- The magic of Don Cherry
- Cherry was played by Jared Keeso in a couple of Canadian miniseries
- Brian roots for the Atlanta Braves because he lived there for a while
- Jay: Rooted for Red Sox to win World Series in '04
- Brian's not a fan of the Blue Jays' stadium
- Jay: Grew up going to Blue Jays games when they were a new expansion team
- Jays' farm team is now in Buffalo
- Remembering the Hartford Whalers
- Sabres lost in Stanley Cup finals to Philadelphia in 1975
- Jay: One of my favorite players was Buffalo star Gilbert Perreault
- Big heartbreak for Sabres fans was in '99
- Brett Hull scored Cup-winning goal for Dallas with his skate in the goal crease
- Against the rules but officials didn't overturn it
- Atlanta's attendance problem
- The Bills had four straight Super Bowl losses
- Lamenting lost Super Bowl bets
- Jay: Still stinging from Leafs' game 7 loss to Bruins last month
- Leafs' loss to LA in 1993 also a painful memory
- Blue Jays had some horrible chokes in '85 and '87
- Jay: Joe Carter's World Series-winning homer in '93 was probably my last great sports moment
- To be continued
- Bonehead of the Week


Music:
Fidlar - Cheap Beer
Eddie Spaghetti - The Value of Nothing
TV on the Radio - Will Do
Archers of Loaf - What Did You Expect?

Completely Conspicuous is available through the iTunes podcast directory. Subscribe and write a review!

The Fidlar song is on the band's self-titled album on Mom & Pop Music. Download the song from Chromewaves.
The Eddie Spaghetti song is the track track of his new album The Value of Nothing on Bloodshot Records. Download the song for free at Soundcloud.
The TV on the Radio song is on the album Nine Types of Light on Interscope. Download the song for free at Epitonic.
The Archers of Loaf song is a bonus track on the reissue of Icky Mettle on Merge Records. Download the song for free at Epitonic.
 
The opening and closing theme of Completely Conspicuous is "Theme to Big F'in Pants" by Jay Breitling. Find out more about Senor Breitling at his fine music blog Clicky Clicky. Voiceover work is courtesy of James Gralian.

Through the Past Dorkily: Couldn't Stand the Weather

Editor's note: Through the Past Dorkily is a recurring feature that looks back at the embarrassingly dorky diary I kept as a 16-year-old in 1984.

Wednesday, May 30, 1984

Song of the day: Burning Down One Side - Robert Plant

Top 5 at Five
1. Round and Round - Ratt
2. Magic - The Cars
3. My Oh My - Slade
4. Voices - Russ Ballard
5. Bringin' on the Heartbreak - Def Leppard

Well, I finally got the job! Welcome to the ranks of the employed! Yah!

I got up around 9:30; my first good night's sleep in a while. I retaped "Permanent Waves" and "Pictures at Eleven." Then at 2:15 [a buddy] came over and we went down to Market Basket. I thought there would be a long line for interviews. Ha! I was the only one there! The guy said I'd work in grocery, stacking stuff on shelves, etc. Not difficult. I'd be working 3-10 3 days a week. I start on Monday. Bad news, sort of. Mom got the day job, but her hours are 9:30 to 6 or something like that. She doesn't start for a while, but when she does, I'm gonna haveta get rides there. She can pick me up at night.

Uh oh. I'm dead. I couldn't do any kind of report for Civics and now I'll lose 20 points on my grade. Tomorrow I haveta go and beg for mercy. I need some divine intervention. Help!

- The Barbarian (joins the work force)

Thursday, May 31, 1984

BONZO BONHAM'S BIRTHDAY

Song of the day: Slow an' Easy - Whitesnake

Top 5 at Five
1. My Oh My - Slade
2. Round and Round - Ratt
3. Couldn't Stand the Weather - Stevie Ray Vaughan
4. Eyes Without a Face - Billy Idol
5. Pink Cadillac - Bruce Springsteen

Well, interesting day. It rained like crazy all day. [Civics teacher] gave me 2 weeks to come up with 10 hours of public service and a 5-page report. Sure beats a zero!

I got moved again in Geometry, lectured in Bi Sci, yelled at in Algebra and yelled at again in Prep for College. Wow!

[Cute girl I like] said she'd give me a ride to work whenever we work the same days. What a babe! As it turns out, Mom has to work on Monday now, so I'll need a ride then, too. Interesting note: I don't think she's going with [dude] after all. They're never together or anything. I think I just jumped to conclusions.

As I was leaving the school, I saw [ex-gf] talking to [her ex-boyfriend before me] at one of the benches. Boy, is she messed up!

Good news: Mom said I could have the car next Wednesday! Yaah! This is great! Now what we need is some nice weather next week!

Goodbye May!

- The optimistic Barbarian

Friday, June 1, 1984

Song of the day: Stick It - Great White

Top 5 at Five 
1. My Oh My - Slade
2. Round and Round - Ratt
3. Legs - ZZ Top
4. Couldn't Stand the Weather - Stevie Ray Vaughan
5. The Reflex - Duran Duran

The weather sucked again. Tomorrow's supposed to be sunny. I hope so!

[Cute girl I like] said she'll give me a ride on Monday. I promised to give her a ride to the beach on Wednesday. Hope it's nice weather!

I did good on Algebra and French tests, alright on Bi Sci test, and I got a 0 on the Prep for College quiz.

[Civics teacher] changed her mind about the 2 weeks and said I could do an oral report on Monday. Great.

The prom pictures weren't at school. Great.

Jeremy told me on the way home that [ex gf] was back together with her ex, sort of. She's going on a date with him or something. And he's still with [his current girlfriend]! Boy, those three are all messed up! She just doesn't know what's good for her. He's just using her, like he did before. Well, that's her problem now. I don't really care anymore.

And guess what else! Jeremy invited [classmate] to the party and you know who she's bringing along? Right. [Ex gf]. In spite of that fact, I'm going to have a good time. I hope.

- The Barbarian

Saturday, June 2, 1984

Song of the day: Still Loving You - Scorpions

Whew! What a day! The weather was pathetic! It rained all day.  

The SAT wasn't that hard. I hope I did good on it! We were there till 12. I had to wait another half hour for Mom to come. After that we went shopping. I got some mirrored sunglasses, some white shirts, dress shoes and this totally loud, obnoxious and awesome Hawaiian shirt! It's great.

About 5 minutes after we got home, Jeremy called and said he'd pick me up in 30 minutes. At [his girlfriend's] house, we watched MTV for an hour. We watched the top 20 countdown. Rush's "Distant Early Warning" was number 6!! It's awesome!

[Girl who supposedly likes me] didn't show up, but around 12 people did. It started off slow, but picked up after a while. It was this guy's birthday and he and 2 other guys kept hitting on [ex gf]. And guess what? I think they're going together now! Geez! Talk about fickle! She acted like she was in love! I can't believe it!

A bunch of guys were mooning cars outside and later on I joined in. We mooned 2 cards and the third one was a cop! We took off! There was a cruiser waiting for us for a while! That was a close one!

What a blast! Everyone left around 11.

- The (Moon Patrol) Barbarian

Postscript: I had forgotten what a struggle it was without a car. Even having landed a job and having a driver's license, I still had two working parents whose jobs obviously took precedence. So I had to bum rides constantly from friends and co-workers. Still, it was a pretty exciting time, although the luster quickly wore off when I was wearing that hideous blue Market Basket smock and unloading food trucks in the summertime. 

I also had forgotten that I struggled at all in high school. Not sure if it was because I goofing off too much or what, but I don't remember all these crappy grades. 

More girlfriend drama, or at least ex-girlfriend drama. Hey, I guess teenage girls can be pretty confused about this stuff, too. Which I'm going to find out firsthand in a few years when my daughters hit that age.